As I get out of my shower this morning, I’m still thinking about last night. Drying my body off, I have to keep using my towel to dry the tears from eyes also.  I keep seeing her face, so pale and her eyes full of shock.  Then her running from me to her bathroom.  That’s all I can see, her face then her back as she runs away from me.

In my bedroom I slowly get dressed, not paying much attention to what clothes I’m putting on, it doesn’t matter.  I have to try and go about my day and the rest of my life without her.  I’m leaving LA, I can’t stay here in the same city without her.  It will hurt to much and I’ve hurt her to much to stay.

Taking my cell phone from the dresser, I open it to call my landlord and let him know I’ll be leaving by the end of the week.  The missed call indicator is on telling me I have a voice message.  “Helena”  She called while I was in the shower.  Putting the phone to my ear, my entire body feels like its stopped working as I’m waiting to hear her voice.  I have to remind myself to breath as her message starts.

“Hi, Dylan.  It’s me.  softly crying  I wish you hadn’t left last night.  I understand why you did, but I wish you hadn’t.  I shouldn’t have…..God, you must’ve hated me back then…..how could you not knowing what I’d done, the person I was…..thinking I was doing the same to you.  I wasn’t Dylan, honestly, I……….Will you call me?  I’ll be at work until 4 and then home the rest of the night….Will you call me back?  Please, call me back Dylan….I love you.”

　

　

　

Shane and Kit are both sitting with me.  The only two friends I have who don’t judge or ridicule me about my feelings for Dylan.  They just listened as I sat here and told them about last night.  Now, looking at them while I try not to cry all I see on there faces is concern.

“She just left?  Did you try and call her?”

“I called her this morning and left a message.  She hasn’t called me back. It’s almost 1 o’clock.  Kit what if she never calls me back?”  I can’t control them now, the tears coming from my eyes.  Shane moves over next to me and I feel her arm come across my shoulder, trying her best to comfort me.