Chapter 16

Kasey noticed how quiet Tina was on
the drive back to the hotel. Upon entering the room Tina flopped down on her
bed as Kasey picked up her case and started packing her clothes. As she laid
out some night clothes and her outfit for the next day she looked around and asks
Tina if she would rather wait to do her packing at the last minute.

Pulled out of her thoughts by the
sound of her sister’s voice she said.

“Kasey even after all this time and
all the lovers in between I still love her. My God she has only grown more
beautiful with time. She has aged so gracefully, yet when I saw her today I
thought she hadn’t aged at all.”

Smiling at her sister she replied,
“Tina I think that’s the first time I have heard you be honest with yourself
about your feelings for Bette Porter since we had that conversation in the
kitchen that upset Henry so much. Truthfully I don’t know how you had the power
to walk away from her for Henry.”

“Seeing her again today up close
and personal I don’t either Kasey.”

“How did I manage to fuck it all up
so badly Kasey? She was the one. The one I was suppose to spend the rest of my
life with. Today when you were discussing retirement it became clear to me that
if I had of stayed with Bette I could have been retiring next year too. You
know what’s so funny about it all? When you ask her what her plans were when
she retired I remembered once we talked about that beach house, her painting,
and us making love all day long. What hurt the most Kasey was those plans were
to include me but I threw it all away.

And for what Kasey? Nothing that’s
what! I have not been truly happy for many, many years.”

“Tina if you feel this way and it’s
not just a reaction from seeing her after all this time then I think you should
really do something about it.”

“What am I to do Kasey? Drive back
over there and when she answers the door, push her inside and throw her down on
the couch and fuck her senseless? My God I can’t do that but it’s what I wanted
to do. It took all of my courage just to kiss her on the cheek while saying
good bye. Especially since she did nothing all afternoon to encourage any type
of intimacy between her and I. When I hugged her I was really afraid she was
going to push me away.”