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    Out with a Proposal…

    This was it after years of the longest love rollercoaster tonigt is the night. Pulling up to the restaurant my heart beating faster then humanly possible just looking at her makes me weak but yet excited. I let her walk in first to make sure I had the ring, going in having the waiter walk us to our table got me more relaxed. Sitting down just talking, laughing and smiling. Okay here was my moment, I couldn’t hold back she looks sooo good in her dress the words just blurted out ”Vanessa I love you, marry me?” I got nothing then barely looking at me she said, ”I don’t think we’re there yet Rose”. My heart snak down to my lowest point, before I opened my mouth to say anything I woke up my alarm went off. It was just a dream more like a nightmare, I been having this nightmare for weeks now. Vanessa might really not be ready for a lifetime, but tonight it won’t be a dream. Knowing she’s still with me after all these years gives me the hope and courage to finally ask my best friend, my first and true love to be mine forever. Before I completely get out of bed I look at my nightstand and see the ring.

    (After hours have passed, Rose was ready wearing a beautiful black dress got her hair and make up done really well done. She went went off to pick up Vanessa. Arriving at Vanessa’s nervously knocking on her door seeing Vanessa opening the door looking amazingly beautiful with her hair up plenty of make up and a short violet dress, that when Rose saw her just like in the dream her heart beated faster then humanly possible. After their Hellos and BIG Hello Kiss they went off to the restaurant. Drivin’ for a bout 15 minutes they arrived at the restaurant.)

    We walked in hand in hand but I put one hand in my pocket to feel the ring. She looks amazing incredible I feel so lucky to have the sexiest girlfriend. I looked right into her eyes as we sat down at our table and told her ”Vanessa you look so beautiful, you know when we walked in everyone stared envy of me”,  she blushed and quickly Vanessa said ”that’s because everyone had their eyes on you in you.”  Then I quickly blused myself.

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    Comments

    1. I liked your scenario but I think you need to work on writing things more clearly. Try proofreading more carefully, or even reading it out loud so that you can hear where you need punctuation. This can also help you to avoid run-on sentences.

      • Thank you. Not an excuse but i have a cheap android phone and it made me start over after every little distraction, it was late at night and after hours of trying to post it I finally finshed and to tired to read it over. I passed out

    2. I enjoyed your story besides puncuation it was a well thought of story line, it was really sweet and CUTE! Maybe with more time it would have had more detail. All in all it was great with the romance, it was ADORABLE!

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