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    Out with a Proposal…

    Story written on June 23, 2014 by Estrada_.
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    10 votes, average: 3.80 out of 510 votes, average: 3.80 out of 510 votes, average: 3.80 out of 510 votes, average: 3.80 out of 510 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5 (10 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 6
    Words: 823
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=85936
    Author Notes:

    After a half an hour or so of just talking laughing smiling with her she looks at me and says ”you know it’s time to take that next step we have been together for most of our lives, and we’re passionately in love” I smiled and agreed. Thinking she probaly is ready but then Vanessa

    After a half an hour or so of just talking laughing smiling with her she looks at me and says ”you know it’s time to take that next step we have been together for most of our lives, and we’re passionately in love” I smiled and agreed. Thinking she probaly is ready but then Vanessa continues to say with a smile ”so you agree we should move in together!!” My first thought was Shit JUST move in together trying to fake a smile and nodding as she stared at me. Vanessa then excused herself to use the restroom. Alone at the table I whispered to myself ”Fuck fuck Fuck” pulling out the ring from my pocket made me calmer and I also said to myself  ”I’m still taking that chance I love her too much not to ask her, plus this isn’t the nightmare, moving in together can be the first step?”

    Vanessa then returns to the table with a HUGE smile on her face, she then kept talkin’ about moving in together non stop. Then to my surprise she takes both my hands looks me straight in the eyes and says if I wanted more then just to move in together. Not knowing where that was actually going I said ”Yes” with slight of confusion in my voice.

    Vanessa  then added: I’m in love with you, I fell for Rose Miller and I’m proud to say, how madly in love I am with this perfectly still awkard, goreous princess of mine but I’m tired… Shit my smile was fading as the nightmare was beginning to take over, then she continues ”Baby, I’m tired of you just being my princess it’s time I made you my Queen”  as she said that she pulled out a tiny box out from her purse. OMG my face LIT UP like never before. She started going down on her knee towards me opening the box for me to see a beautiful ring. While once again she continued to say ”I Worship you Rose your sooo frickin’ perfect to me, Marry Me be mine forever. Lifting her up with excitement just yelling ”YES YES YESSS!!!!”.

    (That’s exactly what Vanessa had engraved in the ring ’I Worship You’, as they celebrated their newly engagement with the most profound kiss either of them had ever had as their perfect date ended with the others in the resturant clapping and cheerring congratuations to them.)

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    Comments

    2. I liked your scenario but I think you need to work on writing things more clearly. Try proofreading more carefully, or even reading it out loud so that you can hear where you need punctuation. This can also help you to avoid run-on sentences.

      • Thank you. Not an excuse but i have a cheap android phone and it made me start over after every little distraction, it was late at night and after hours of trying to post it I finally finshed and to tired to read it over. I passed out

    3. I enjoyed your story besides puncuation it was a well thought of story line, it was really sweet and CUTE! Maybe with more time it would have had more detail. All in all it was great with the romance, it was ADORABLE!

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