What the ef-f-f is up with her?

“Why are you asking me these questions, Alyssa?” I asked, my voice was rising also, my irritation at her presumption of , I don’t know, ownership or something like it, and this new sense of prerogative that she felt she could tell me what to do about something as serious as my lost memories of what I had with Harley escalated. “Are you asking me to forget her completely? To lose all hope that I would ever remember?”

At no point did I ever implicitly give her license to venture into this area, dammit.

“I’m asking because at some level, you’re stuck in some kind of bizarre groundhog day experience, Aerin!!” Alyssa answered, all her emotions coming out now.

I was sorely tempted to tell her something then, but held my tongue. Shhh… try to cool it, Aerin. Remember Dan’s calming techniques. Get your zen on, girl.

“It’s as if in your mind, that whole thing has assumed this mythic, epic, monumental experience of love, of magic, that you’ll never experience again!!” she continued to harangue me, beginning to sound hysterical now. “And it’s locked away somewhere in your brain, tantalizingly out of reach, yet more alive than anything real that’s actually happening in your life!!”

“And I don’t think that whatever we have, or whatever we’ll have, will ever be able to compare with that!! That nothing will ever be able to compare with it, Aerin!”

What the ef-f-f? Is she serious??!!

“Maybe that’s because nothing ever will, Alyssa!!! I can’t unring that bell, alright??!! I fell in love with her and I lost all my memories of that because of something I got involved with that that love led me to do.  I admitted to you how strongly attracted we were to each other even after I lost those memories … and, although we had a falling out, I know … I know!!! … that that love was real… that it was magic, as you said,” I tried to explain, and fought to calm myself down, but I knew I was losing the battle to control my emotions.  “So maybe it’s locked away in my brain somewhere, as you said, but I’m not prepared to throw away the key to it, yet!”