The maids go from box to box to settle their guests and serve vintage champagne. Each maid is wearing nothing but a little black Chanel jacket. Each has neatly trimmed pubic hair. All are chosen for their beauty, charm and discretion for they are often accomplices in some very private activities.

At the moment, the stage itself is hidden behind heavy velvet curtains but that is about to change. A hush falls over the auditorium. The maids extinguish the candles in the auditorium, and suddenly each box takes on the appearance of tiny theatres. The seated coupled are now silhouettes. All the subs have removed their cloaks and are now completely naked.

First Act

The night entertainment always begins the same way. The curtain rises on a tableau depicting the exploits of the infamous Blood Countess – Elizabeth Bathory, the sadistic lesbian aristocrat convicted of abducting, torturing and killing hundreds of young girls in her native Hungary. The stage is empty apart from a huge evil-looking iron frame from which hang ropes and chains.

The tableau resembles a pantomime, the plot unchanged in two hundred years. The central character is the evil Countess herself and she appears first. Wearing her traditional opulent bejewelled costume with its high collar, she regards the audience with a sarcastic disdainful sneer. Someone boos.

The next character to appear is the Countess’s equally notorious maid, who enthusiastically assisted in the insane sexual torture. Upon conviction, the sentence of the court was that her fingers be torn off with red-hot pincers.

These two actresses have performed this tableau many times and both are firm favourites the audience. By tradition, the maid wears in tight black leather trousers, a black leather waistcoat, high boots and there is a leather whip strapped to her waist. Her long dark hair is tied tightly back.

She holds one end of a length of rope which leads into the wings. At her mistress’s command she slowly pulls the rope. This delaying tactic further increases the audience’s excitement. They know but yet don’t know what awaits them!

Finally, struggling and whimpering at the end of the rope, the third and final character appears. This is the moment the audience have been waiting for, the arrival of the Countess’s hapless victim – the Innocent Virgin.