“I know I didn’t plan to ignore you but when I met Sam that night the guilt had already sunken in. What we did was wrong, and I’ve never wanted to hurt Sam”.

“Oh so it’s ok to hurt me?”.

“Let’s not go there with that one Frankie because you know perfectly well two years ago you fucked me over. Where did that leave me huh?” I couldn’t help display my anger. How dare she even say that. Does she really even know about hurt, I’ve never hurt her the way she hurt me.

“Cat, I explained I just wasn’t ready. I dealt with it childishly. I never meant to hurt you. And I’m truly sorry that I did. With you I’m so scared I will fuck everything up because as you told me I’m a ‘fuck up’. I do have a tendency when the going gets tough to bail. I believe I’ve changed in the time we haven’t spoken.”

“I finally get an apology… It took you long enough”. I could feel my anger simmering as I reached across the table and met my hand with her’s.”You’re not a ‘fuck up’. I was angry when I said that but I wish things were simpler with you. How have you changed in the time we haven’t spoken?”

“Well I’m not with Sadie in case you was wondering, I’ve found a new job, I’m in touch with my birth mother oh and I have a niece or nephew on the way. There’s so much too tell you but honestly I just want you to see that I can be good enough for you. I can give you all the things Sam can give you such as stability and love. I’m able to provide those things now. I’m in a good place.”

It was like a part of a dream Frankie uttering the words I’d always longed to hear “I’m in a good place”. It seemed for once she did have a lot going for her, she had other things to focus on. Maybe she was finally realising she was worthy of love and everything that came with it, through her new found connection with her birth mother.

Was she finally growing up? Either way her plight had me caught in the crossfire of who I was going to hurt. Maybe just maybe no-one would ever find out.