This was all while there was a party going on.  It was her birthday.  She did not want to hurt anyone’s feelings on her birthday, when they were supposed to be having fun.  It would be too much.  And yet what else could she do?

If she let Vanessa go after what just happened, after Vanessa had taken pains to show up after all this time, she would hurt Vanessa and definitely come off as uncaring.  If she dumped Claire for Vanessa, she would also seem uncaring.  If Vanessa hadn’t shown up when she did they would have continued on like they had been up until now.  Had she not just said how amazing she thought Claire was? Claire had been with her through such an important time in her journey, to blow her off so quickly would be just as heartless as if she did the same to Vanessa.  Yet, she had to choose.

She slid down the door and pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed.

I’m sorry Claire, she thought.  I love you, but I also love Vanessa.  I don’t know if you want to stay with me after what you saw, but I do love you.  You’re amazing, beautiful, and so brave!

I do love Vanessa.  I know you told me I had to put her behind me because thinking about her hurt.  But I never did do that, even if I didn’t talk about her.  How could I?

She knew that Vanessa had treated her in a mean way that Claire never had, but when she saw Vanessa on the front step all of that went away.  She could forgive her.  She knew why Vanessa had acted the way she did.  Vanessa had been scared.

Rose didn’t know what to do, so she cried.  She didn’t want to leave her room.  She couldn’t face anyone, especially not Claire.  Eventually everyone would wonder what happened to her.  Perhaps Claire and Vanessa were tearing each other’s throats out by now.  Or maybe they were avoiding each other completely.

She didn’t want to go back to the party.  Nobody could fix this.  The best birthday present had turned into the worst.

“Rose! Are you up here?” she heard Kenny’s voice through the door.  He must have seen something and come upstairs.

“I’m in here,” she said, her voice choked.  She forced herself up and opened the door for Kenny.

“I saw Vanessa.  Did she just come back?” Kenny asked, his voice full of concern.  Rose nodded.  “She was crying.  So was Claire.  What happened?”

Rose didn’t want to answer.  Instead, she erupted into another bout of sobs.  Kenny wrapped his arm around her shoulder, then the other, and pulled her into a hug.  He could feel her body heaving.

Rose knew Kenny couldn’t fix this.  But she wasn’t sure whether she herself could fix it either.

What was she thinking? She concluded that she hadn’t been thinking. And now she was stuck in an awful mess.