What if, what if, what if.

Stop torturing yourself, she thought. Everything will be okay.

—-

Vanessa waited for Rose at the agreed spot, looking at her phone. She was late. She leaned against the brick wall of the library and bit her lip, and was about to text Rose, when she felt someone nudge her shoulder. She jumped, and smiled when she saw her friend.

”Hey,” she said. She pocketed her phone and leaned in to hug Rose, who was grinning just as much as she was.

”Hi,” Rose breathed. ”Sorry I was late.”

”It’s okay.” She slowly pulled back from the hug, feeling shy all of a sudden. ”So… where are we going?”
”I thought maybe we could go to Crother’s Woods. It’s beautiful this time of year.”

”Okay, sounds good. I–I like to hike.”

”I know.”

Vanessa smiled and followed her. She pretended not to notice when Rose’s pinky hooked around hers, but soon, they were holding hands, like a couple. Like the kinds of couples you see in those stupid romantic comedies. Vanessa liked that feeling, as corny as it sounded.

They walked around Crother’s Woods for a while, taking in the natural beauty around them. Vanessa’s stint as a homeless person often found her here. She’d felt so cold and alone, and it certainly was scary, especially when Kyle had attacked her. She still had nightmares about it sometimes.

”Stop it,” she heard, and turned to face Rose, who was smirking at her. ”You’re thinking really hard. I can practically hear your thoughts.”

She smirked back. ”What am I thinking then?”

”Hmmm. You’re thinking: ’I really want a PB&J right about now.’”

”Not even close,” Vanessa laughed.

”All right, smart ass, what were you thinking then?”

Vanessa went quiet for a moment, then said, ”I’m not sure I should unload it on you yet. It is only our first date, after all.”

”Oh come on, Vanessa, we’ve been friends since we were five.” Rose protested, twigs snapping as they walked on the path.

”I know. But I was thinking about–when I had ran away, and I’m not ready to talk about that yet,” Vanessa said, biting her lip nervously.

Rose stopped walking, and turned to face Vanessa fully. It made her anxious.

”That’s okay,” Rose said, clutching her hand. She’d almost forgotten they were still holding hands; it had felt so natural that Vanessa didn’t even think about it. ”I’ll be here when you want to talk about it. I–I’m not going anywhere.” After a moment of silence, Rose stepped closer and leaned her head in, slowly, giving Vanessa plenty of time to step back.

She didn’t though, and they kissed, sweetly and gently, not caring if anyone saw. They were both past that now, and it felt so good.

As first dates went, this one was not half bad.

Oh, who was Vanessa trying to kid? It was perfect.