She slipped sadly into her office chair and glanced at the file before turning her attention to the window and into the sterile autopsy room. Maura knew that if she closed her eyes, she could picture everything that happened that fateful day but her recollection was always the same, and it always ended just that little bit differently. In her mind she took Jane’s place, Marino’s strong arm wrapped tightly around her as he dragged her away with Jane screaming her name. If she’d been that little bit braver, that little bit nearer, then Jane wouldn’t have had to shoot through herself and the sombre mood that had stained the air for the past two weeks wouldn’t tarnish everything. If she’d given more of herself, then Jane Rizzoli would swagger in that door with a large mug of coffee and make fun of her chair and her shoes. If she had been more, then she would still have her friend.

She wiped the tear that slipped down her cheek and reached for the phone. She knew Jane wouldn’t answer, she never answered the phone anymore, but still, she dialled Jane’s number and waited as it rang. Clearing her throat, she tested her voice as she waited for the answering machine to kick in.

“This is Jane Rizzoli,” Maura smiled at the warmth of her friend’s voice. “I’m not here, you know what to do.”

“Hi Jane.” She began, not knowing really what she wanted to say, only that she needed to reach out to Jane, to try and make it all go away. “I just wanted to call you and say hi.” She paused, there was so much more to say, the words rising up in her throat and dying on her lips. “I hope you’re taking care of yourself?” She paused as if she were having a conversation with the lanky brunette rather than her machine. “I thought I could come round this evening, after work if that’s ok?” Another pause, hoping that Jane would cut in. “Ok, well call me. I miss you.” She dropped the phone back into the cradle and stared at it. When it rang seconds later, she snatched the handset up. “Jane?” she asked before she’d gotten it all the way to her ear. “Oh, Korsak.” She couldn’t hide the disappointment in her voice. “I’ve nearly finished the report. I’ll bring it up to you in a few minutes.”