“what do you mean?” she asked me

“the girl you date after me…does it have to be Nicole? I mean I just assumed she’d be a one time thing…not someone you’d actually date” I told her

“it’s not like that…” she told me “…I mean we’re dating, but it’s not like super serious…”

“oh so she doesn’t go out buying you countless roses or five hundred dollar promise rings?” I asked her

“Ashley…” she said glaring at me

“I just thought I’d come by to say ‘hey’ and that I missed you…which I did, don’t get my wrong…and I wanted to apologize for not calling because well…I probably should have after how we left things…” I said quickly getting back into my car

“you’re leaving already?” she asked me

“yeah I have to go pick up my sister” I told her “but I’ll see you later” I said starting my car wanting to get the fuck out of there as quickly as possible

*******************************

I can’t believe she showed up at school just wanting to see me. I thought she had hated me, but then again that can’t be true after that letter she wrote. I just hate how she shows up right as things between Nicole and I suck. I don’t want her to think I’m breaking up with Nicole because of her, but then again the only way to make her aware of that is to tell her myself…

So I left my house…drove over to hers and to my luck she opened her front door

“oh hey…” she said

“hey can we talk?” I asked her

“uh…sure” she said stepping outside and shutting her door behind her “what’s up?” she asked me

“look, I just wanted to tell you that I’m breaking up with Nicole…and you need to know that’s it’s not because you’re back or anything, it’s just because well…I cant really stand her.” I said flat out but then she was looking at me…with that Ashley look “what?”

“yeah…I just thought I’d tell you” I told her turning around but as soon as I took about ten steps I stopped and turned facing her again “…no, actually that’s not the only reason” I started “…I’ve read your letter every day for the past four and a half months and I just keep beating those words into my mind, and I can’t stop thinking about you…ever” I admitted to her “…and you apologized for not calling, but it’s not like I called you either and I didn’t call because I didn’t know what to say…and I know that’s a terrible excuse, but it’s totally true…I mean I’ve never been as poetic and meaningful as you have with your writing and I just wanted to top that…” I told her

“why do you read it every night?” she asked me

“I don’t know…” I told her “…maybe because I want to be that girl for you again, or maybe I just want to be that girl in general…”

“you are that girl…” she told me

“no I’m not…not after cheating on you, even if it was a lone kiss I still ended up dating the cause of it all…” I said but she didn’t respond “…maybe one day I can be the girl next to you when your dreams come true…”

“maybe you will be…” she replied “…but maybe we should take things slow, you know maybe now isn’t the best time for anything between us except rebuilding…” she said which in a way hurt to hear, but I knew she was right

“I think you’re right…” I told her then a silence fell between us

“but do you maybe want to come in? my moms making dinner…and she thinks I don’t eat in New York so she made a little too much…” she said making me laugh a little

“yeah…that sounds good…” I said and she smiled at me opening the door as I walked into a house that was once my second home.

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