Difficult. This was torture. What did that mean? Bella and Charlie were both silent for longer than appropriate. And then I understood…

Here it comes, Charlie. She’ll take the bait. She’s too good natured, just like you. Easy prey.

“The Blacks are practically family, Bella. And, Jacob has been a very, very good friend to you. Don’t you miss him at all?”

What? Why was he being so forward? Where was the list? Where was he really going with this? What would she say?

Suddenly, I regretted this. I regretted my choice, my lack of trust, my insolence. Charlie was now asking the question I’d desperately wanted answers to, or at least I’d thought I did.

Did I really? What had I been thinking then? This eavesdropping was desperate and dishonorable…

I shook my head in disgust at my audacity. Hearing thoughts with no effort of my own was one thing; intentionally stalking the woman I loved was another.

She was going to answer. I took one quick, sharp intake of breath and held it, bracing myself, cautious of my hold on my steering wheel. My body tightened further in anticipation of her answer.

“Yes, I do miss him. I miss him a lot,” she responded.

My mind went blank for a fraction of a second until it begun its inevitable tailspin. Was it longing, sadness, or despair in her voice? I rapidly assessed her words distinguishing between the small tone inflections human ears would never detect; it was a combination of all three. I turned my head sharply to the street, rejecting her words, focusing on nothing in particular. Brutal images of her holding out for his hand flashed in front of my eyes, the sound of her voice mumbling his name in her sleep flooded my mind…’my Jacob’…

I winced in pain as that hollow,the dreaded hollow I hadn’t felt since Volterra, returned with an ache in the middle of my chest. I focused my mind on overcoming it.

I needed to think. I needed to leave. I needed to compose myself and prepare. She was expecting me in less than twelve minutes.

I watched my own movements as if from a distance as I started my vehicle. I did not fail to notice the unnatural pallor of my glowing white hands as they clutched my steering wheel.