He is cute, too! He is one-hundred percent Italian. He cooks and loves poetry about as much as I do. We have the same taste in music. And oh, did I mention he has a really sexy car?

Yeah, but he has a penis. Ewe

Okay, if he were a girl he would be perfect. But no one is perfect. So I can settle for that. He is really sweet, he always compliments me.

“Well,” I tell Ashley. “He wants to go on a date. I suggested a double date so I was thinking…”

“Sean and I can double date with you guys! You need to meet Sean anyway!”

“Oh yeah, that would be great.” Oh yes, such a great idea. I would love to be in the same room as my potential future boyfriend, the girl I’m in love with and her boyfriend all at the same time. That night is sure to be a confetti bomb of emotions all over the place.

We went on talking and making plans, but in all reality, Ashley was doing the majority of the talking and planning. I was only along for the ride. My head was too busy swimming with thought processes. My heart was heavy and dragging along behind me. I feel as if I walked into a battle unarmed and now I’m dealing with the leftover soreness and wounds from hand to knife combat. Had I been prepared I wouldn’t be so sore. I would have won quickly.

Ashley tries getting me out of my sudden shell. “Babe, what the fuck is up with you? Something is wrong, I can tell.”

I try dancing around it, but she won’t let me. “I just,” I begin, already stumbling for my words. “I just didn’t expect this. I wasn’t ready.”

“I’m sorry; I’ve put a lot on you in one night. But Jason is going to love hanging out with you. There is no need to be nervous.”

She thinks I’m referring to the double date. “No, Ash, I meant that I didn’t expect you to get an official boyfriend. I just thought that I would have had a little bit more time to let go and-”

“And you were hoping for one more weekend for us to be us.” She finishes for me, knowing that it is hard for me to say. “I’m sorry, baby.”