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    Headlights On Dark Roads – (Chapter: Puff, Puff, Pass)

    Story written on July 23, 2007 by overdose.
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    Genre(s): N/A
    Rating: N/A
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    Character(s): N/A
    Number of Comments: 16
    Words: 3015
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=15335
    Author Notes:

    Introduction.

    Have you ever had these thoughts, impulses you feel that you have to control? But, yet, at the same time cannot control at all. No matter how hard you try.

    Have you ever, for example, been in a china shop wanting to sweep your hand through a whole shelf filled with different kinds of breakables just to see it all shatter to the ground? Just to hear the sound of a broken fullness.

    Thoughts that confirm the boundaries and restrictions that lives inside ourselves. The thin line between what’s natural and what’s sick if you eventually go through with these sudden urges.

    I have plenty of those.

    That’s why I usually sit on my hands when I’m in a car, afraid that I just might grab the wheels and steer it off the road.

    Just because it feels so right. Because it’s so tempting.

    That’s why I never bring a lighter to my smokes when I know I’m going to be close to a gas station. Or go out on a balcony. That’s why I rarely hold a knife in the kitchen when other people are around me.

    Not that I would deliberately ever hurt someone that badly. Not because I’ve ever done it either. It’s just these thoughts that keep screaming inside my head. And I have hardly ever answered them in the way they want me to.

    I could ramble for ages about different these thoughts and actions that threatens to overtake me one day. It’s been there ever since I was a kid. I think it started sometime around the age of eleven. A Wednesday night with me lying against the cold white tile on the bathroom floor with a bleeding lip split in two after being beaten by Glen. I started to count the red drops that trickled down my chin.

    1,

    2,

    3,

    4,

    5,

    6,

    7,

    8,

    9,

    10..

    It usually stopped at 54. I decided it would stop at 54. And when it didn’t, I made sure it happened by myself.

    It was all downhill from there. With the thoughts, I mean. It’s just the red droplets that I actually still do something about, but right now I’m talking about everything. Every single one of them. I’m talking about wanting to throw a hairdryer in a water filled bathtub. About wanting to plunge a wet finger inside an electric socket.

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    Comments

    5. okay so you have to keep going that was an amazing first chapter i don’t know what to say and i loved the ending how spence said she was the girl who always leaves when it’s my turn….god that was great….love it. PMS

    6. okay so you have to keep going that was an amazing first chapter i don’t know what to say and i loved the ending how spence said she was the girl who always leaves when it’s my turn….god that was great….love it. PMS

    11. Wow, what an amazing chapter. I love that last line “The girl who always leaves when it’s my turn.” That one statement says it all. I agree with with dawniekey and jbs10, Ashley feels the same way as Spencer does. Magnificent writing that conjures up pictures in the mind that are not to easily forgotten. PMS

    12. Wow, what an amazing chapter. I love that last line “The girl who always leaves when it’s my turn.” That one statement says it all. I agree with with dawniekey and jbs10, Ashley feels the same way as Spencer does. Magnificent writing that conjures up pictures in the mind that are not to easily forgotten. PMS

    13. i’m feeling it to be really difficult to write good feedback after a post like that. absolutely beautiful writing that stunned me in to a stupor. the last line is so telling, i cant wait to hear more from spencer.

    14. i’m feeling it to be really difficult to write good feedback after a post like that. absolutely beautiful writing that stunned me in to a stupor. the last line is so telling, i cant wait to hear more from spencer.

    15. I have never commented before..but I had to comment on this story because of the amazing writing, I absoulutly loved it and can not wait for another post. You are truly talented

    16. I have never commented before..but I had to comment on this story because of the amazing writing, I absoulutly loved it and can not wait for another post. You are truly talented

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