“You shouldn’t take it personally you know.” I turn to look at him, trying to get a read on his face. It just remains concerned.

“What do you mean?”

“The way Spencer is acting. It isn’t anything personal; she isn’t rejecting you as a person. You understand this?”

I didn’t say anything. Rationally I could understand, or at least I was trying too. But emotionally? I was struggling.

We were silent for a while before he spoke again.

“It wasn’t your fault Ashley.”

“Yes it was! I’m meant to protect her Mr C! It was supposed to be me going to for the meal, it should never have been her! It should have been me!” My voice cracked and I felt Mr C pull me into a hug.

“It wasn’t Ashley, this wasn’t anybody’s fault and if you are both blaming yourselves you won’t be able to get Spencer through this.”

“Blaming ourselves? This wasn’t Spencer’s fault at all Mr C.” My voice was muffled into his shoulder and I fought hard to blink back the tears that were forming in my eyes.

I needed to stay strong for Spence.

“She’s going to think it was her fault. She’s going to struggle with this Ashley. She is going to need you, even if she acts like she doesn’t.”

I pulled away from him, slightly offended.

“I’ll always be there for her! She’s practically my everything!”

Mr C smiled fondly at my outburst, he gently rubbed my shoulder. I leaned back into him. Having Spencer’s parents around had meant I was actually involved in a family.

“I know Ashley, I know.”

I heard the doors open and whipped round to see Paula and Spencer emerge. Spencer was moving gingerly, her face set in a grimace as Paula hovered around her attempting to help.

I scrambled to my feet and stood awkwardly as they approached. I felt Mr C rise a lot more smoothly than I did behind me.

Spencer looked up and locked eyes with me. It hurt to see the brilliant hues of her sparkling blue eyes look so dull and defeated. I smiled weakly and she returned a very pained one.