That was the night she left my life forever. Not because she didn’t feel the same way though, she left me because her mother called for her to come home. Family dinners were like a religion in her house. It was a must. So me, being the best friend I was, drove her. I didn’t see it though, I didn’t see the large semi truck coming head on to us. I also didn’t see the red light I ran. Want to know why? Because I was to busy reveling on the touch of her hand in mine. The softness of her hands and the warmth that spread through me when the sparks flew.

Her screams still echo through me, still run through my ears and are as loud and piercing as the day it happened. The autopsy repot said that both legs were broken, and wouldn’t of been able to work if she survived. They also said that she wasn’t wearing her seat belt, and when they found us, we were both thrown from the car and curled up to each other. There was a picture in the news paper. We looked peaceful and yet in pain at the same time. My head was busted open at the forehead and she had an already forming black eye from the dash board.

Sound bad? Not even close. To how I felt at the funeral. Her family looking at me as if I was the scum of the earth. I was though. But Mr. Carlin did it too. wouldn’t even look me in the eye, just sneered and walked away with a sad glen and a hysterical Paula by his side. that’s not even the worse part. Glen thought it would be ‘just dandy’ if I left them alone and never came around again. So that’s what I did. that’s what im doing.

I always think I see her, I always wonder if the blonde hair that just wisped by me, was her. Then, the ‘what ifs’ happen. What if it was her? What if the whole funeral and death was a complete lie, and they just wanted me gone. Even her. I always think its her I see across the street, in the other aisle, in the next bedroom. Bedroom? You ask. Well don’t. because I cant get into that right now. My therapist is looking at me strangely, and im almost worried that I’ve been talking out loud this entire time. wouldn’t that be ‘just dandy’