She watches me have a conversation with myself, I can see it in her face that she’s ether worried, or glad that she finally has a patient with real problems. Holding up her hand, she gets my attention.

“um, Ashley.” she says in that authoritive tone. You know the one, where she’s really saying ‘im better then you, so shut up and listen.’ ugh. I hate that.

“its been 8 months since the accident, and to be honest…you aren’t showing any signs of improvement.” I scoff. Of course I was showing improvement. I wasn’t crying everyday, I wasn’t drinking from 6 am to…well, 6 am. Im not punching walls, or screaming at Kyla. Im better, I know I am.

“uhm…Dr. Parker, I think your wrong. I mean, look at all the shit I did when I first came here. I don’t do that anymore, and your accusing me of showing no improvement?” I say, my attitude at its highest.

All she does is blink, once, twice, and a third time. Im so sick of this! “you know what! I don’t think is working, how about I see you…whenever!” I say, standing up and storming from her office. I’ve had enough of this shit! All the while, I was getting so good at controlling this goddamn anger, and now it was all for nothing. Fuck her. Fuck me. Fuck this life. Nothing’s worth anything without Spencer here. I lived for her. And I now I’ll die to be with her.

The gun was so cold in my hand. It was heavier then I imagined and the steel shined, it reflected my face as I look down on it. Tears slid down my face and my chest ached. It was all my fault, I killed her, I ran that damn red light. I let that semi truck smash into the car. I…killed…her.

“oh god…Spencer im so sorry.” I whisper into the night as I raise the gun the my already broken heart.

…

Beep…beep…beep…beep…

I swear to god, if that beeps one more time, im going to kill someone,

Beep…

Fucking hell!

The beeping started to go faster as my heart rate picked up. Wait, heart? Where the hell am I? im dead, no please! Please tell me it worked. Spencer! The light started to seep through my eye lids and it burned my retinas. I felt a hand on my arm and I looked away from the bright light above me.