I make a deal with myself to listen to only the first song, because I am not sure I will be able to listen to the whole thing.  So I will have to take baby steps through it.  I sit on the couch looking at the plastic case which within it holds a voice and words that I am not sure I am ready to hear again.  For the first time I notice the title of the album:  She Got Away.  My mind goes into overdrive as I flip the case over to look at the song titles.  She Got Away, A Place Touched by Heaven, Run Away, Waking Up with You, I Still Think of You.  How can I possibly listen to this?  They are songs about our life, long ago.  Or maybe they aren’t; maybe they are about her life with someone new. 

“One song won’t kill me.”  Famous last words.  Forty-five minutes and 23 seconds later, I sit here staring straight ahead in disbelief, mouth agape.  There is no question that this album was created with our lives in mind.  There is no doubt that we loved each other back then.  There is no doubt that she just oozes with talent.  Above all, there is no doubt that she still loves me.

I need air, fast.  It’s a warm night so I decide to take a walk through Central Park.  I try to clear my head.  I try to think of what happened between us. These last two days I have seen a highlight real of the time we spent together.  There were a lot of memories from those seven years.  But as I wade through it more and more I begin to see how much Ashley had sacrificed to be with me and how little I did for her.  I hang my head as I finally realize; this was entirely my fault.  I walked away from her five years ago and blamed her for it for years.  I blamed her because she pushed me to it.  I blamed her because she didn’t come after me.  Back then I had countless reasons as to why I should blame her, but now all I can do is blame myself.