But I did leave. I broke my promise. It was all my fault. I promised forever and just two years later, I did the unimaginable.

I continue the emotional execution long after I return home and well into the night. Sheer exhaustion takes over and I am finally able to find peace from the turmoil the last two days have managed to stir up. 

     I sleep in even though I know I have work to do, but going in as a zombie will not be beneficial to anyone. When I finally drag myself out of bed, I know I am in no mood to deal with anyone at the office today, so I go into work only to type the report on yesterday’s interview before leaving.

I need to clear my head, so instead of going home, I walk. I walk for what seems like hours. Somehow, whether conscious or not I don’t know, I end up in front of the apartment building where we used to live. My eyes become misty as I look up to the third floor and find the second window from the right. That is the living room window and it leads directly to the fire escape. I remember how on warm summer nights, we would just sit out there, looking at the stars and talking into the wee hours of the morning. Out there, the noises of the city seemed to fade away and we resided in a world completely separate from everyone else. 

I continue walking. This neighborhood brings back so many good memories. Memories that I had tried to drown out with work. I shake my head and wonder where the time went; I can’t believe that I have not been down here in over three years. The times were not always good though, like the last night I was here.

~

            “I don’t know, I don’t really feel like going out tonight.”

            “Spencer, you are going to have to move on eventually.” 

            “I know, but I just don’t feel like it tonight, I have a big day tomorrow and the movers are going to be here at 11 am.”