It seems silly, but I feel like I owe it to her, to remember.

            Not being in any state of mind to tackle the actual task at hand, I stop at a coffee shop and sit alone at the table furthest back.  It is a tiny, shabby place, but I didn’t come in here for the atmosphere. I came in here to go back in time.  

~

Her words were ringing through my head in a painful mantra that would not end.  ‘No. No we are not.’ ‘No. No we are not.’ So matter of fact. So decided.  The cab pulled up to her house first and wordlessly she practically ran out of the cab, no doubt handing the driver enough money to get me home as well.  I froze.  I knew I should follow her. 

I’m sure she thought I would get out of the cab and chase after her.  It is what my heart wanted to do.  To just take her in my arms and tell her I didn’t mean what I had said.  To tell her that she was the only person I wanted.  To at least try and explain the feelings I was having.  But my body did not want to.  I could not will my legs to move.  I was paralyzed by the words, ‘No.  No we are not’.  It was then I became angry at her.  Just like that we were not a couple.  No heated argument, no tears, she did not demand anything further from me, she did not fight for me, there was not even a ‘goodbye’.  I looked at her through the cab window one more time as she walked away, then turned to the driver and gave him my address. 

I was absolutely miserable. I had taken it for granted for so long that she would always be there that I was barely able to function as a human being when she was gone.  It had only been a week and two days.  I had called her constantly with the same result each time: voicemail.  I never left a message, because I knew our problems would not be solved through message tag.