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Memories – (Chapter: Confessions)
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“Please. I beg you. Don’t doubt that I loved you.” There was a long silence.
“You know…….even after all that; I still called to see how you were doing. I called Lucy at least once a month just to make sure you were alright.” She swallowed hard before she continued. “In a year and a half, you didn’t even speak my name to her once. Spencer, how am I ever supposed to believe that you loved me? You sent me off with my little note and erased me from your memory. I’m sorry, but that’s not possible if you really truly love someone.”
“It was too painful to talk about you. It was too painful to even think about you. I buried myself in work and I closed out my friends and even my family. I didn’t want to deal with the fact that I had lost you. I pushed you out of my mind, because I didn’t know how to deal with it.” She pulls the necklace from beneath her shirt.
“I have worn this ring around my neck for the last five years, in hopes that I would have the chance to wear it on my finger again. I wanted you to put it back on me and tell me that you would actually keep your promise. I never wanted to forget you. And you sit here telling me that you tried your best to delete our entire life together.”
“I didn’t want to delete our life. I prayed everyday, for a long time that you would come back. I was too proud to admit I was the one that was wrong. I never wanted to erase what we had, but I knew I couldn’t face you again.”
“Why couldn’t you face me?” I didn’t want to tell her, but I owed her the truth. I closed my eyes and bit my lip, breathing deeply to control the tremors rumbling through my body. “What did I do to you, that was so terrible that you couldn’t face me?”
“It was something I did.” One last swallow and I put my hands on my forehead trying to alleviate the pressure building in my temples. “The night before I moved, I did something I am so ashamed of. I was so disgusted with myself for it. I could barely stand the sight of myself in the mirror and I never wanted you to look at me like that. I would literally die. That is why I shut Lucy out. As much as she tried to be there for me, I knew she was disappointed in my actions.” She stares at me, patiently waiting for me to confess my sins. I turn to her and she allows me to make eye contact. “I met a guy at the club that night and we wound up having sex at his apartment.” She quickly looks the other way and up to prevent the tears from falling. Her jaw clenches and her breathing changes; I can tell that she is trying desperately to control her anger.
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damn! thats cold.
OUCH!! God, that hurts…no, this can’t be the end…they can’t end…lol, please update soon!
ouah… well… that’s just sad. I wonder how you’re gonna go on with this. post soon
Ouch…is this going to have a Spahley ending or is it completely over? I dont kno if I can read this if there is absolutely no hope for them to get back together. It hurts too much. My heart breaks for both of them.
Wow, that was cold-blooded. But, she did have it coming. I love this story. Please post soon…I came out of the woodwork to comment on this site…Love it. Cheers
awesome. on with the punishment Ashley.
wow…….sucks for spence huh?…..ok…..onto more drama!!!!!
NOOOOOOOO!!! C’mon you gotta fix this….. and soon!!!! :) Love this story.
Instead of reading a beautiful update, which will answer all the pending questions we all have…what will Spencer do? What is up with Ashley? Is it really over or will love triumph???…I’m angsting over my honey’s dissertation. While I like to be supportive, I could use a different type of angst…so Puleeeeze update soon
damn! thats cold.
OUCH!! God, that hurts…no, this can’t be the end…they can’t end…lol, please update soon!
ouah… well… that’s just sad. I wonder how you’re gonna go on with this. post soon
Ouch…is this going to have a Spahley ending or is it completely over? I dont kno if I can read this if there is absolutely no hope for them to get back together. It hurts too much. My heart breaks for both of them.
Wow, that was cold-blooded. But, she did have it coming. I love this story. Please post soon…I came out of the woodwork to comment on this site…Love it. Cheers
awesome. on with the punishment Ashley.
wow…….sucks for spence huh?…..ok…..onto more drama!!!!!
NOOOOOOOO!!! C’mon you gotta fix this….. and soon!!!! :) Love this story.
Instead of reading a beautiful update, which will answer all the pending questions we all have…what will Spencer do? What is up with Ashley? Is it really over or will love triumph???…I’m angsting over my honey’s dissertation. While I like to be supportive, I could use a different type of angst…so Puleeeeze update soon
Well, Spence was kinda asking for it, throwing down ultimatums like that.. but i think i need a hug now… NEED MORE.. this is GREAT!
Well, Spence was kinda asking for it, throwing down ultimatums like that.. but i think i need a hug now… NEED MORE.. this is GREAT!
Just too sad….I really really really hope Spencer is able to change Ashley’s mind! It just can’t end here.
Just too sad….I really really really hope Spencer is able to change Ashley’s mind! It just can’t end here.
This story is soo great, I enjoy drama but I’m starting to get worried.have you posted this on the Spencer & Ashley forum? there are many angst whores over there and tehy would love your fic
This story is soo great, I enjoy drama but I’m starting to get worried.have you posted this on the Spencer & Ashley forum? there are many angst whores over there and tehy would love your fic
Hey, I’ve been reading this story and I’d just like to say that I find your story truly captivating. Thanks for writting, and I do hope you continue!
Hey, I’ve been reading this story and I’d just like to say that I find your story truly captivating. Thanks for writting, and I do hope you continue!