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Past Events, songs, notes, texts and oh that it are in italics 

Chapter Nine: So Much to Say

“The only guys worth loving are the ones that will take time just to be with you.”

“She’s losing too much blood!” The doctor said

“Get me a blood transfusion now!” He commanded.

“We need to get her prepped for surgery.” He ordered the staff.

My eyes grew heavier, I tried to keep them open, but I couldn’t.

“Hey you’re going to fine, hang in there” The nurse said.

————————

“Miss., are you alright?” The police officer asked me. He actually seemed concerned; there was sympathy in his eyes.

Of course, I couldn’t accept his kindness and say something polite, that wouldn’t be me, now would it?

“No, does it fucking look like I’m okay?” I spat out.

My thoughts raced back and forth. 

Damn it she can’t die.

Why does it seem everyone always leaves me?

I wished I killed him sooner.

God I hope my mother gets here, but most importantly I hope Kyla makes it.

What if she doesn’t?

———————–

“Why the fuck did you do it?” She asked.

I pondered the question before opening my mouth. Could she honestly be that fucking clueless? She can’t be that fucking blind, my reason was obvious. God I wonder if she realizes I’m not listening. Her mouths moving, it kind of reminds me when the teachers in Charlie Brown speak and it’s ‘Waaaa…waaaa…waaa….waaaa’. I never truly understood wh-

Smack

“Ashley, I’m going to ask you one more time, do you fucking understand? Nod you head yes or no.” She said condescendingly.

I rolled my eyes.

Wrong answer!

Smack

I guess I deserved that. I laughed and shook my head.

“Do you think this is funny? You just fucking killed that best thing in my life.”

Something finally snapped. I could take the beatings, the rapes, even the verbal abuse, but that statement ‘he was the best thing’ broke me.

“Fuck you! God, you’re such a fucking bitch.” The venom dripped from my voice. I wanted my words to cut her deep enough for her to feel a glimpse of what I was feeling.