Bella [POV]

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"Bella, please!" I couldn't bare to face him as he pleaded and reached out to stop me once again. This was just something I had to do, to make the pain go away, to make me forget…

"I'm sorry Jake…" My voice cracked as I struggled to hold back a sob and turned the knob on the front door. He was instantly there by my side slamming it shut. I was still in shock at the door being ripped from my hand to notice his arms wrapping around me. I wanted nothing more than to return the hold and to stand there forever as he tried to make it all go away, but I knew he couldn't, no one could.

That was the end of my battle to be strong and make this easier for him as he broke my hold and my tears flowed freely. "You have to let me do this. You have to let me go…"

"But I don't. We can get through this together." His hand stroked my hair and I let my eyes shut for a brief moment before flashes of the funeral flooded my memory. That was the turning point of this whole situation. Watching them lower my mothers body into the ground was when I made the split second decision to get the hell out of there and away from anything that reminded me of her. My good for nothing father didn't even bother coming to the funeral so I knew I couldn't turn to him for any kind of support. Then, there was Jake. The one person in this world willing to do anything in his power to make sure I was happy and I was rejecting him. I felt like the most horrible person in existence for what I did next. Had it not been for that flashback I would of probably still been standing there in his arms, but now I was running down an ally beside our apartment and to the closest train station.

One hundred and thirty seven bucks was all I had in my pocket and I knew exactly where I was going to go. There really was no rational reason why I chose New York, but here I was sitting on the train with nothing more than some clothes and my guitar. It was time to start over and forget the reasons for my suffering. That was a little easier said than done. No matter what I did to distract my mind I always found myself covered in tears and wishing I could just end it all in that moment. Trying to sleep was impossible and not due to the fact the train was so loud and I was constantly moving, but the nightmares even for ten minutes never seemed to ease up.