–

The cold winter air blew against my face and I instantly pressed closer to James. He was too drugged up to awake from my movement and oh how I wished I could be where he was. I would of gave anything to be able to sleep.

I had been in New York for 8 months now and my life didn't seem to be getting any better. I had made many new friends and was now with James, but there was still that hole in my chest that always nagged at me. I knew it was Jake. Not one single letter or phone call to let him know where I was or that I was ok, but I remember telling him he had to let me go. He needed to forget I ever existed.

There was no way I could go back to him after the path I had chosen. My life style was extremely different now from when I walked out the door that day. I wouldn't exactly say they were the best choices I had ever made, but it was helping me get by for now.

"Argh" I growled and pulled myself from the sleeping bag as James slumped over and I started looking through his bag. All I could find was the pill bottle he emptied before passing out that night and a bunch of other random things. "Dammit" I kicked his bag and threw the bottle against the wall while walking over to the fridge. I'm not even sure why we bothered putting anything in there anyway since we had no power. In fact this wasn't even our house if you wanted to call it that. It was just one of the many squatting holes around town that we were welcome.

I grabbed the half empty bottle of vodka and took a sip. There was no telling who it belonged to, but it had to be better than sitting here in the silence of the winter freezing to death. I found comfort on a ratty ripped up sofa in the corner and began to enjoy my drink.

The small room that I guess would of been a living room if the house had been kept up was full of random strangers. Some of the people I knew well and at this point called friends and honestly just felt sorry for the others as they lay there shivering in their sleep.