Prolog…in the mirror

When I was still a small girl, I dreamt of finding the quite big love. I thought, I would have a family, as well as ours was one, with an affectionate husband, a few children, a house and a garden in which the dogs romped around during a nice summer day and everything had her fun.

I, Tina Kennard, grew up in a small place in North Carolina. I did my Highschool – end with bravado and got a job as a leader of the developing department of a media society in Alphaville. Here I also got to know Eric. He was a media lawyer and a big art lover and art collector.

One night he took me to this art opening at the Bette Porter Gallery. So I have called my friend Alice who has explained the way to me because Eric was on the move still and wanted to meet directly there me, and that she would be glad about the fact that I would get to know now also, finally, sometimes her ex Bette. Anyway. She had this amazing reputation for picking all the great artists. And she was smart, and tough. And unbelievably beautiful. So then, Eric and I got invited to one of her artist dinners, and, her artist dinners were really, really famous. There were… … all these people there form Paris and New York. Some celebrated intellectual, you know, some big shot critic. It was, uh, intimidating. But she was so… warm, and gracious. And then, um… And then the earring thing happened. Okay. So then, that night I go home and I realize… I left the earring at her gallery even though I could have sworn that I put it back on my ear. Call it fate. I call it destiny. I still went in the same evening back in the gallery, because I knew that she still had to be there, and I had thus the best chances to get my earring again. Of course she had already found him and when she wanted to give him to me … our hands touched, there such an incredibly strong feeling flowed through me, so endlessly a lot of warmth and my heart was fulfilled so by so many unusual feelings, with the song of angels and wild pictures that I knew, it happened to something with me and it was so big that it allowed to grow pale everything what had up to now one more meaning for me.

And then she kissed me, quite of course and it was the most unbelievable kiss of my life. From then on I knew, that this woman who was always they what would also always happen who was always also I that this woman had changed my life.

I separated from Eric and soon afterwards moved together to bed and I. We told to ourselves about our childhood dream and found out very fast that we could also have in common all that and wanted. When everything ran quite well with us, we decided to found a family. However, it was anything but easy in this time for me. I had problems to become pregnant and bed was put under stress very much by her job.

Then I still had my miscarriage and for myself both a world broke together. I have tried to keep away my grief from bed, because I felt, how much she suffered from it.

And then one day she was away, she had simply broken out of our life. She had probably seen no other more way out to line up than the escape? And who I was …

The escape…in the mirror?