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    Uncivil Union – (Chapter: The Favor)

    Story written on October 7, 2008 by goaskalice.
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    Genre(s): N/A
    Rating: N/A
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    Number of Comments: 15
    Words: 1986
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=18847
    Author Notes:

    Ashley has to beg Spencer for a favor.

    ASHLEY:

     

     

    “Spencer?”

    “Did you knock?”

    “No.”

    “Do you know how to knock? Has anyone ever taught you?” she asked with a smug smile that leaves her face as quickly as it comes.

    “No, I was too busy learning how to give uptight suits—like yourself—orgasms. So no…no time for knocking practice unless you use the word ‘knocking’ as a clever sexual reference. In that case, yes. I’ve practiced a lot. In fact, I could probably teach you how if you’d like,” I say, journeying across the room until we’re mere inches away, “would you like to learn?”

    “You’re an arrogant yet curiously insecure person with small hands. What do you want?”

    I smiled, but she had cut me deep this time.

    I did, in fact, have small hands.

    But it’s not the size that matters, folks. Remember that, as I do everyday.

    “I need a favor.”

    She laughs hysterically, slamming the book she was reading down on her perfectly-made bed, “You’ve got to be kidding. You come in here to ask me for a favor without the courtesy of knocking, only to add insult to injury by making your characteristically inappropriate small-talk and attempting to imply that I’m frigid? Amazing, Ashley. A true testament to your intelligence.”

    I could’ve killed her, I guess. I mean, that was always an option, right? I watch a lot of television, my friends. I know how to clean up a crime scene. Wouldn’t it be kind of beautiful to use her cleaning products to do it?

    Hmm…

    “Fine,” I say, walking backwards out of the room, “I’ll start all over.”

    “Wonderful idea.”

    I knock, faux-grin plastered on my face. I re-enter the room and curtsy, stepping forward a couple of feet until I’m back where I was originally.

    Anybody else remember a time not too long ago when I was a motherfucking badass? This is what marriage does to you, guys.

    Watch out.

    Invest in a weapon.

    She meets my eyes innocently, “Oh, hi, Ashley. Is there something I can help you with this afternoon?”

    I clench my jaw to keep from saying anything sarcastic/insulting/deserving. “Yes, actually. I need a favor.”

    She nodded, signaling me to continue.

    “My mother is coming over for lunch today and…”

    “You want me out of the apartment, is that right?”

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    Comments

    2. fan-freaking-tastic. i laughed my ass off the whole time, especially at the whole “Wouldn’t it be kind of beautiful to use her cleaning products to do it?” GENIUS! loved it loved it loved it cannot wait for more so please pms!!!

    3. OK so I have a confession…I was so desperate to be the first to post a comment that I didn’t..ahem…read the chapter properly…BUT having re-read it with the time and care it deserves Ican rightly say that my original comments still stand…..Plus OMG how funny are you?!? That was soooo good ‘sad plastic clown’ ha ha!! Please accept my grovelling apology….:0)

    6. The “extreme sexual tension masquerading as hatred” theme of this story cracks me up every time. Me encanta! I love it. PMS I only had one class today… boredom… commencing…

    14. this is so funny i needed a laugh and you gave it to me i loved “You’re an arrogant yet curiously insecure person with small hands. What do you want?”i was like oooooo thats cold spencer thats just wrong i felt bad for ashley all of it was funny pms please im realy enjoying it :)

    15. unbelievable when i thought it couldnt get better it did i wazs so into reading it when my mates called i hung up on them lol great update ur an amazing writer pms asap !!!!!!!!!!

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