Fan Fiction
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Uncivil Union – (Chapter: The Favor)
I had to give it to her, though. Spencer was performing like a trained dog and my mother was eating it up with her usual silver spoon.
I hadn’t seen her so happy since that time her plastic surgeon assured her he could make her look twenty again—you know, if twenty year-olds look like sad plastic clowns.
“You know, Spencer. I’m just thrilled to meet you. Ashley has the bad habit of forgetting to include me in her life. But what can you expect, really?” my mother said, adjusting her napkin in her lap, “she’s always thought she was the only one alive.”
“Here we go, mom,” I say, shaking my head.
“What? I can’t help it, can I? It’s true! You’ve always been selfish and you know it. When your father died you acted as though you were the only one who had ever met the man! How easily you forgot that I had been putting up with his crap for twenty years. He came into town when it was convenient for him. Not to see me. Certainly not to see you.”
“That’s completely ridiculous.”
“Is it?”
“He resented you because he saw you for the bitch that you are. But that never stopped him from loving me.”
Spencer looked horrified, her eyes moving back and forth between my mother and I like she was watching some sort of angry tennis match.
Or an episode of “Next.”
“Maybe it’s time for me to leave.”
“Yeah, maybe it is,” I say, standing up, “you can let yourself out.”
I walked quickly out of the dining room and into the living room, leaving Spencer with my mother.
It’s not like I didn’t feel bad about it. Typically I wouldn’t leave Christine alone with a house plant, but since Spencer had already used so many in her decorating, I figured there was no use in even trying.
I heard muffled conversation from my position on the couch and then the front door being softly shut. Spencer walked into the living room looking confused.
“What was that all about?”
“Spencer, let’s not do this. I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“Have you ever noticed that every time I ask you about your life you give me the same answer?”
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Will I get the first comment?…will I?? Great..fantastic…words fail me… PMS and don’t keep us waiting :0)
fan-freaking-tastic. i laughed my ass off the whole time, especially at the whole “Wouldn’t it be kind of beautiful to use her cleaning products to do it?” GENIUS! loved it loved it loved it cannot wait for more so please pms!!!
OK so I have a confession…I was so desperate to be the first to post a comment that I didn’t..ahem…read the chapter properly…BUT having re-read it with the time and care it deserves Ican rightly say that my original comments still stand…..Plus OMG how funny are you?!? That was soooo good ‘sad plastic clown’ ha ha!! Please accept my grovelling apology….:0)
Yes…I know I need to get out more…
every chapter gets funnier!!! i love it
The “extreme sexual tension masquerading as hatred” theme of this story cracks me up every time. Me encanta! I love it. PMS I only had one class today… boredom… commencing…
great chapter your an extremely talented writer !! cant wait to read more!!
ugh dude this story is sooo chill!! i love it! Write more please!
I love this, they’re getting there slowly haha! love it. please update soon x
i got kicked out of class for reading this and laughing instead of taking notes…but i was soooo worth it!!! hilarious as always PMS!!
Aww..so sweet? Haha, this story just keeps getting beter and better. Fantastic update. PMASAP!!!
Fantastic update :) As usual, funny, charming and yet always got me back for more lol
One step forward, fifty back. Just when you think there’s progress, tight-ass Spencer reappears. Great update!
this is so funny i needed a laugh and you gave it to me i loved “You’re an arrogant yet curiously insecure person with small hands. What do you want?”i was like oooooo thats cold spencer thats just wrong i felt bad for ashley all of it was funny pms please im realy enjoying it :)
unbelievable when i thought it couldnt get better it did i wazs so into reading it when my mates called i hung up on them lol great update ur an amazing writer pms asap !!!!!!!!!!