“Spencer? Uh Spence? Are you ok?…SPENCER!” “JESUS ASHLEY! What!?” Ok, something’s definitely wrong. “You kind of zoned out on me hun. I asked you if you were ok.” “I’m fine Ash. I just… No one in my house talks about Clay anymore. My dad’s drinking again, my mom’s cheating on my dad again and she… She told me that if I go back to you that she won’t love me anymore. And Glen is gone too, I hate it at home.” Crap I feel horrible now. “Spencer, if you ever want to talk about Clay, or your parents, or just need to get out of your house, don’t ever hesitate to call me.” Great, I’m the one person who shouldn’t be talking about hesitating. “I know Ash, and thank you, but that’s the thing, I do need to talk about him. I just miss him so much Ashley. It hurts not knowing that he’s not around and won’t support me 100% anymore. I hate it.” She was crying now and I just moved closer to her and held her. “Spencer, I know it will be weird for a long time, and you’re parents are going through it bad, I don’t want you to ever think that you need to do something that’s not ok for you, if that even makes sense. I just want what’s best for you, ok? And I will always be there to protect you from anything and anyone ok.” She looked at me, her radiant blue eyes, now slate gray. It killed me inside to see her like this. Why did Clay, of all people, have to get shot and die? I mean seriously, he never did anything wrong! He wasn’t the fuck up of the family, Paula is! Jesus, do I wish she would’ve been there, she would’ve jumped in front of one of her kids to avoid them from getting shot… damn, why couldn’t I just do that for Spencer?

“Ash?? Ashley, what are you thinking about now?” “Huh? Oh, um, I was just thinking how Clay got shot, he didn’t do anything to deserve it, I mean come on! He was going to be a fucking father for Christ’s sake!” I was holding back tears now. Clay had always been there for me. When Spence and I were going through all our shit, he was standing right beside us. He was the first one in Spencer’s family to know she likes me. And now he can’t see that we’re together again. “Spencer, I think we should stop talking now. It’s just going to get us more upset and I really don’t think I can handle you crying again. It kills me to see you hurt like this babe. I hate it, I really do. I wish I could just take it all away. And I’m sorry I can’t help you out with your internal pain. I love you Spencer.” Shit! Now she’s really crying! “Spencer! What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Wrong question to ask moron! She’s not ok! If she were ok, she wouldn’t be crying! “Ash, it’s fine. I’m ok really. I just love the fact that you want to help me so much. You’re mean more to me than anything else in this world. And right now, you’re not even trying to get into my pants! HAHA… I think I’ve trained you Ashley Davies!” “Oh so not cool Spence! I just got really deep and sensitive for you, and this is how I get repaid! Ok, I see how it is.” “Oh cut it out! I love you too. Now come over here for a minute.” “What do you want now? Are you going to make fun of me?” “Awww, no! That’s too easy. Just come here.”

As I moved closer to her, my heart started to race. Honestly, it felt as though I just ran a 5k marathon. When I was close enough, Spencer pulled me so we were down on our knees. “God Spencer, you’re so beautiful.” Aw, she blushed! I missed how I could do that to her.“Aw Ashley, you look hott!” “God way to ruin a moment!” She just kept smiling and I couldn’t help but smile back. She leaned in closer, and so did I. Our lips were touching, but just barely.“Hey Ash?” It feels soooo good! “Yeah Spence?” “…Kiss me, please.” “My pleasure.” And that was it. We both leaned in a bit closer and our lips collided. God I missed this so much! Our kiss was deep, meaningful, and loving. It was soft and fierce all at the same time. But what you could’ve notice with a heat seeker was the love in it.

When we pulled back, we just stared in each others eyes. I was getting lost in my blue heaven again. “Ashley? Do you think I can stay with you tonight? I really don’t want to go back to my house to see my parents arguing again.” “Sure Spencer, no problem.” And that was that. We got up and walked hand-in-hand back to my car.