"Spencer, you have to talk about it, I don’t want you to end up like me. Please baby just start it will get easier I promise.

I turn back abruptly to face her. I’m angry now

"Why do you have to hear it? Do you want me to describe every disgusting detail?! Why? So you can think back, and remember some happier times!! Why do you have to hear it!!" I scream madly I didn’t mean to hurt her but I know I did. ‘She’s only trying to help you stupid!, and I’m only trying to help her…’

"I don’t need to hear it" she whispers I look down ashamed that I talked to her like I did "I have a pretty good idea of what happened to you, and I know what could happen next. You need to talk about it" she lifts my head and look into my eyes that are tearing up. "if you don’t then he wins, and it will turn you into someone I don’t want you to become…"

"It’s hard…" I finally whisper. "Not only because you love me and it will hurt you to hear, but also because every word I’ll say will take you back there…" I start to cry quietly.

"I know it’s hard but No baby." She replay "there is nothing you can say that will take me back there because I never left." I look at her not understating.

"What happened to me will never leave me I’ll live with it for the rest of my life as will you. And I’m so sorry it happened to you. I didn’t tell you because I thought that I was protecting you. But now I realize that I’m standing here thanks to you. You gave me strength to keep going. I was on such a destructive path before I meet you" she holds my hands in hers. I fell so much love for this woman…

"I have been a fool for so long" she continues "but I’m dealing with it now…" I jump up and hug her I almost squeezed her to death. "I love you, I love you so much Ash…" I feel her kissing my head. She pulls away after long minutes. I take a deep breath to steady myself.

"Are you ready?"  She asks. There is a long pause and then I finally let go;

"Yes"