Spencer couldn’t contain her sobs anymore, she broke down and couldn’t hide her heartache. Ashley on the other hand could not believe what had just left her mouth, she didn’t want to break up with Spencer and certainly didn’t mean to hurt her like she did, but she had just become so annoyed with Spencer and so angry after what Spencer had said that she just couldn’t stop herself. Ashley watched in awe as Spencer transformed before her eyes, she was no longer sobbing, instead she seemed filled with a strength and self control that Ashley had never seen in her before.

“Fine Ashley, if that is how you feel then maybe we should just end this right here and now! You won’t have anyone bothering you anymore, no one calling you constantly, and no one trying to make sure you’re ok. I’m through trying to love you, I’m through trying to break down your defences and keep you safe in my arms. I trusted you with my heart, I took a chance which is more than I can say for you. I knew there was a chance you would break it, but I never thought you would shatter it into a million pieces. From now on Ashley, you are on your own!”

Spencer fought to keep control of her emotions, she wanted her final words to Ashley to be dignified, clear and concise.

“I’m giving you what you want Ashley, a single life without me. Just remember this, if you ever need anyone to talk to, someone to be there for you when everyone else has said no, don’t count on me”

There was nothing else Spencer could do, nothing else she could say and so before Ashley could say anything else she turned and walked away from her life. She walked away from the person she knew she was meant to be with, the person she gave her heart to unconditionally. Once she knew she was out of sight, her body crumpled to the floor, wracked by uncontrollable sobs, her world had fallen apart around her.

Back in the present….

I’ve never allowed myself to relive that memory, not while I’m conscious anyway, and now I remember why. This is the first time I’ve really let myself remember what happened that night, I forgot how painful it was, how much it still hurts!