It hurts, and not just mentally but physically as well.

To sit there day after day and watch your need from afar, talk, laugh, and yell.

You want to touch them, feel them and be near them but you hold back.

You have no idea what anyone would say if they seen you looking and thinking the things you are about your person.

You know they would most likely be more then a little freaked out by the things running through your head all the time.

You pick up the pen that is on your desk and look at the paper, which you’re supposed to be writing on right now but you can’t.

You can’t think about what you’re supposed to be doing when thoughts of your need are going through your head.

The thoughts come and go at an alarming rate they scare you and sometimes they come at the most inopportune time, and you wish they weren’t there.

You find it hard to get anything done picturing the things you are, but most times you welcome them.

As you find they are like your safety blanket, as you know you can always trust them no matter what.

You see the faces of your friends and your family always watching you and you know they wonder what’s going on inside your head.

You want to tell someone, you want to yell it so loud that you need that person to be close to you, but you don’t.

You hold back because you know if you tell you might get looked at differently, they might hate you.

You shake your head knowing they could never hate you, but they might be a little warier around you.

In the bathroom you would stand looking in the mirror for as long as you could watching yourself and wondering how you could fix yourself so your need would need you.

You want to be perfect so your the needed one not the one needing.