You run your hands under the cool water and rinse your face with the water before drying them and looking into the mirror. You don’t see anything different, you just see you.

You close your eyes and hope to be perfect and you open them again after a minute.

Hoping your looking at something different, but your hope is lost when you see the same thing you always have, you.

You go back out and walking back to your desk you see your need walk out, heading your way.

You think about turning and walking somewhere else, but then you think where else is there to go? You walk and stop when your need stops in front of you.

You smile and your need does the same, maybe your really doing ok.

You take a breath and hope your eyes don’t show that you need and are hoping for something from them.

You carefully watch as your need lays a hand on your arm, their hand is so soft.

You feel your heart speed up and try to stay calm and you just looking into there eyes.

You’re hoping that what you are looking at now is real, that it is really the look you see in their eyes.

You feel even better when the person talks to you, asking you to meet with them after work.

You get excited, and maybe now is the day you will finally have what you’ve needed for a year.

Maybe now you’ll finally feel like your prefect, because you know if they do then you can feel perfect too.

If they think your perfect, then maybe you really are and you just don’t see it yet, but you know you will soon.

Later that night as your saying goodbye to your need for the night at their apartment you feel them move into your ear, whispering things to you.

You had both had a long talk tonight and you finally told your need that you need them.

You smile as you remember the look on their face as they heard you speak those words to them.

But then your heart just about stopped, they took your hand and caressed it softly, telling you that they need you too.

You feel tears well up in your eyes as they speak to you; this is what you’ve been waiting for.

For a very long time and you have a feeling they know it because you know they have too.

"You may not think your perfect, you may not think your worthy, and you may think a lot of bad things about yourself, but all the things you think about yourself are wrong Olivia" you don’t speak, you just listen as your need talks to you.

"I already told you but I’ll tell you again" you feel like your floating your so happy right now.

"I need you just as bad as you need me…and I’m going to need you from now and forever" you put your hand up to stop them from talking more, and you both move to sit on their couch, in the apartment.

"I’ll say it now and I’ll say it forever, I love you Olivia Benson and I have for the last few months and it’s killing me" you smile at them, flashing your teeth.

"I’ve loved you longer" you say and then you watch as their face lights up.

"How long?" you can see tears roll from their eyes as they asked you the question.

"A year…I’ve been in love with you for a year Alexandra Cabot" you say leaning your head on there shoulder.

You finally feel that your perfect and the things running through your head are even better then before.

You now know you can really feel some of them, you can make your thoughts come true.

You feel happy because now you can stare at your need and not worry about them catching you, but you know you may still blush when getting caught.

You keep smiling and you love this feeling, it’s something you never want to lose now that you found it, now that you found your need, your love.

Now you know you were wrong, you could have them and you do.

But you’re not dieing now you’re living again, with your need by your side.