And Bette WAS gentle. She lay beside her lover and opened her shirt button by button, kissing Tina’s eyelids and eyebrows and the tip of her nose and her forehead
and her cheek and her lips and her neck….she wiped Tina’s tears away. She whispered love tlak in her ear….she opened Tina’s shirt and caressed her body. Bette took off her own
sweater and pressed her body agains’t Tina’s. Bette took Tina’s nipple in her mouth, licking the underside suckking hard and soft and hard again. Felt the gasp go through T’s
body, felt her hand touch her hair. Bette went lower, kissing her stomach her navel, the insides of her thighs kissed her mound and licked long licks and tasted her really
tasted her, swallowed her slipped her fingers into her deep, listened to her rthyms..her weeping. Her weeping turning into moans…Bette came up and kissed her neck, her
hand still down there making Tina squirm. Bette moved over Tina, moved to the rthymn of her lover’s pleasure. This was the first time they’ve made love, made love..not devouring
or hurting each other. Bette had never opened herself up and neither had Tina. They showed a different side of themselves. Just like S&M showed their different sides, being
gentle showed sides too. It was like the complete thing. The one thing needed to lay bare all that hid inside themselves. Even though a person could never truly KNOW another
human being. They came close.

 Bette dressed herself slowly, Pax’s car was not in the driveway. Tina was considerate and had not left hickies on Bette. She appreciated that. They had not said much,
just helping each other prepare for living the rest of the day. Bette turned around and stroked Tina’s legs, just out of affection. She didn’t see the look on Tina’s face. That was her
mistake, she could not see the pain Tina was feeling. She felt it too…but did not see that Tina felt it more. Tina did not have anybody in her life at the moment besides Bette. Tina
was actually thinking getting a man just to make Bette jealous, at least then she would know how her lover was feeling. Tina hated this, loved this, adored this, hated this hated this.
Feeling used, feeling the love in Bette but not the words not the acknowledgement. And always there was Paxton. Always HE was behind Bette’s actions..always with him in mind.
Tina wondered what would happen if Pax was gone, if Bette was strong enough to follow what HERSELF wanted, needed. Tina couldn’t stand to see Bette be affectionate, it
hurt her more than when Bette treated her like *****. She wanted them to go back to treated each other like *****, at least then they were not feeling the pain, the pain amplified because
in the end it seemed..Bette went back. She did not stay. Tina felt herself cry, inside, her face was stone….inside she felt her lover leave her….in being gentle they were more distant
than ever. Or were they? Tina wandered what would happen…what he rlife would be right now, if she hadn’t met Bette. She couldn’t imagine without Bette. She wanted to beg
Bette…tell her she loved her…that they should elope. Except when Bette got up from the bed….put on her jacket, paused by the threshold and looked back at her and said…see ya
Tina. At that..Tina felt herself hate Bette, loved her so but hated that Bette had the ability to act so well. Act that…something was right in all this. Everything was wrong though, everything.
Pain…why was pain so, easy to feel. Why wasn’t happiness easy? Tina just wanted to be with Bette, and really..she wanted everything. The good and the bad. But this pretending, this
Paxton…this moral of doing the ‘right’ thing whatever that was, Tina hated that.

 Bette smiled at her lover, said goodbye…turned but was called back. Bette looked at Tina, she lay there with an undecipherable look. Tina said quietly….”Your the worst
thing that ever happened to me”.