“That’s the point” Tina replied as she shook her head slightly “It’s not something you should have to contemplate, it’s instinctual it’s not logical. Time or date or place shouldn’t affect your answer. Either you want it or you don’t”

“T, I want whatever makes you happy” Bette offered quietly.

“My happiness aside, do you still want us to have a family?” Tina pressed on, determined to garner a response from her partner.

Bette closed her eyes and prayed that her wishes matched those of her wife.

“With all my heart” Bette replied as she barely dared to breathe.

“OK” Tina whispered as she took Bette’s hand in her own and kissed it gently before moving herself into a more comfortable position and sought sleep. One unfinished sentence from Bette had been enough to deprive her of hours of sleep. “If you decide you want to” that’s all Bette had to say to open the floodgates that held back old memories and future possibilities. She’d tried for hours to ignore her thoughts and feelings when it came to trying for another child. In the end she was unable to determine what she really wanted and chose to redirect the question to Bette a little after 3:00am. Now that she had her answer Tina was determined to rest.

Bette opened her mouth to protest as she watched her wife physically demonstrate that she was done with this conversation. It was unlike Tina to demand a response to such an important question and then withhold her own thoughts on the topic. It was in her nature to be fair and Bette was used to Tina willingly meeting her half way. Bette frowned at her wife’s actions but while she hesitated Tina drifted into the peaceful sleep that had eluded her all night.

Bette bent her head and laid a gentle kiss on Tina’s cheek before lying back down behind her wife, her left hand still held captive by Tina’s.

While still perplexed at Tina’s lack of response, Bette couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face as she focused on the positives. Tina’s actions told her that there was a chance for them to have their family. If Tina woke her in the middle of the night to talk about the possibility then it was definitely not off the cards. Bette knew there were going to be issues that they would need to face, that much was a given but for the first time in ages she allowed herself to believe in the child that they had both wanted so much before their lives had gone awry.

  TBC