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A Friendship in Progress – Part 3
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So now here she was, living in LA, separated from her children, estranged from her partner, abandoned by her mother and she had nothing. Nothing of monetary value anyway, but she had the best friendships she had ever known. And it was this fact, this seemingly happy, non-judgemental, sincere group of friends who confused her. Why did they now like her, when previously when she had the world at her feet did none of them, bar Alice and Tina, give her the time of day? Helena feared it was some kind of inverse snobbery – we like you when we can feel sorry for you, unthreatened by you or even, dare she think it, feel better than you. But go back to your previous life and don’t expect us to respect you. It was like her former life – but in reverse. Helena feared deep down that she would be dropped like a hot stone if ever she regained some of her former status. She hated herself for thinking these things; she hated that her faith in people had been so badly damaged, after all, nobody ever indicated that this was the case. Well, apart from Bette.
Bette, Bette, Bette. Why could she think of nothing other than Bette? She went to sleep thinking of her, woke up with the image of her etched in her mind. She imagined what it would be like to kiss her, taste her, make love to her. She felt dizzy with excitement when she thought they may have a chance of a future together and in the depths of despair when she thought they didn’t. She wasn’t sure how it all happened, when her initial physical attraction to Bette changed into something more, but it filled her with hope; made the months of sleeping on Alice’s couch worthwhile, made Peggy’s decision all those months ago make sense.
She smiled to herself as she remembered in the early days how she would casually ask Alice if Bette was coming over, accidentally turn up at the Planet when she knew Bette would be there. Her heart jumped as she remembered the first day they spent alone – drinking wine by Bette’s pool, both finally letting go of any former mistrust of one another they may have had. Sometimes she would catch Bette looking at her and thought she saw desire in her eyes. She felt a jolt of electricity if their hands accidentally touched, could hear her own heart pounding when they hugged.
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Well, that makes perfect sense: Helena loves Bette but thinks Bette loves only an idealized version of Helena. So now the question is does Bette love the new Helena or the real Helena? These two pages have revealed more about Helena’s psychology than four seasons of TLW, Silsden, so rest assured story length is not an issue. Thanks for this and post when you can.
I agree, I enjoyed that in-depth commentary of Helena’s consciousness as well.
Well done, Silsden.I am a huge TiBetter but I’ll take HeleBette over that boring JoBette any day, especially b/c the writing is so excellent.
If Helena and Bette are really friends, then Helena needs to start talking, now. She is reacting to what she THINKS Bette thinks, which is always a mistake, and she will lose Bette, absolutely, and it will be her own doing. They need to talk, please, let them talk, please?
I agree with rufus don’t worry about the length you said alot in two pages.
far be it from me to assume what the writer/characters are thinking, however, i think bette enjoys the helena she has come to know…she knew the confident mean-mugging helena, but now she sees that there is more to her and quite possibly understands what made helena that person…however, bette brings out the softer side and it also allows bette to be bette..so yes, she likes the “new” helena, but this is really the “helena” she didn’t see…truth be told, the powerful helena is also intoxicating…net-net, they need to talk…i can hypothesize all day, but they need to talk..that’s the next chapter right, B&H talking…anyway, love this fic and the different perspectives you present…awesome…looking forward to the next post…Happy New Year.
Hi, Silly…I hope I can call you Silly. Is it okay I call you Silly?…cuz it’s just a nickname…and I always nickname those I adore…And I adore your writing. You answered my question … which is what I thought…but…heheh…fanfic writers often do tricky tricky things! I really love this story. Keep going! You have an amazing head!
sheesh…they need to just talk it out…like really talk about their feelings, but most of all about their pasts, because Bette knows only what she sees, not what Helena feels, ya know? So maybe she needs to tell her about the old helena but keep the new Helena intact…i guess…pps