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A Life I Never Meant Chapter Sixteen
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It’s a beautiful day here in LA. I’m trying to see if there is one cloud in the sky but I honestly believe that there isn’t. It’s getting towards late afternoon and I’m sitting in the passenger seat of Bette’s car, with the top down, and I’m currently focusing on summoning up the courage to get out of the car and walk towards our destination.
After days of putting off the inevitable I’m here at the cemetery. Bette spent most of yesterday trying to convince me that this would be a good idea. She currently seems to be obsessed with idea that we should try and put some of our old lives behind us and concentrate on the new. She tried to convince me that some of the way to do this is to say goodbye, properly. So far I have remained unconvinced, and right now she seems to have given up. She’s sitting in the driver’s seat but hasn’t said anything for at least five minutes. I think that she’s realised that there is only so far that she can push me, and I have to get the rest of the way myself. That doesn’t stop her giving me sideways glances every so often to see whether I am going to get out of the car.
“I won’t know what to say when we get there.” I say, but looking in the opposite direction to Bette.
“You’ll find the words.”
“I don’t know if I will.”
“Alice, if there’s one thing that’s guaranteed, somehow you’ll find the words.” replies Bette, gently teasing me, and I laugh, even through the overwhelming sadness that I’m feeling right now.
Then there’s more silence, punctuated by the noises of everyday life. The sound of the traffic on the nearby road, someone crying on their way back from visiting a grave and the soothing words of their companion. It all seems so mundane and yet I still can’t get my hand to move to open the door of the car, and my legs to move to get out and actually walk towards where I know that I should be.
“We can go home if you really can’t face it.” says Bette, gently.
“No, it’s OK. I want to go. It’s just hard, doing something that you think you shouldn’t be doing. It doesn’t seem right that I should have to go and visit my friends grave when…the rest of us are still here.”
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it is sad to see that tina left without talking to bette, their relationship will be never resolved this way even if she will say ally that she loves her, for all 3 of them there always be that question: what if? i’m glad to see that alice was able to say goodbye to dana, it will be good for her to move on…i’m a tibetter and i still have hope that you will bring them back together
Tina is a such a chicken but it was good to see Alice tell her about being careful and not hurting Ally. If Tina still feels like she can’t face Bette b/c she will realize she can’t live without her, then that should be enough reason for her to realize she can’t and shouldn’t hurt Ally the way she was hurt by Bette. Somehow I think Tina will lie her way through it and end up with Ally for a period of time. I’m interested to see where this goes, whether you jump ahead a year or 2. I am a diehard TiBette fan; I just hope throughout it all Bette and Helena or Alice will never be a couple. I do want Bette to have some happiness; whether its an extended vacation in I do hope Shane and Carmen find some happiness with each other. Shane really does deserve it.
Tina is a such a chicken but it was good to see Alice tell her about being careful and not hurting Ally. If Tina still feels like she can’t face Bette b/c she will realize she can’t live without her, then that should be enough reason for her to realize she can’t and shouldn’t hurt Ally the way she was hurt by Bette. Somehow I think Tina will lie her way through it and end up with Ally for a period of time. I’m interested to see where this goes, whether you jump ahead a year or 2. I am a diehard TiBette fan; I just hope throughout it all Bette and Helena or Alice will never be a couple. I do want Bette to have some happiness; whether its an extended vacation in I do hope Shane and Carmen find some happiness with each other. Shane really does deserve it.
That was very moving. Liked the sunset metaphor. Now Tina has to face a cowardice-induced quandry. Hopefully she’ll get a grip or she’ll wreck 2 lives, all for her gutless dithering.
You have an amazing ability to write each person and remain true to their character. I’m always so glad to see you have posted. This story is an incredibly sad one, as each person deals with their regrets and mistakes, but you write it so well and it is nice to see some sort of resolution for everyone. I can’t believe you let T go back without talking to B. Hopefully she’ll realize Ally isn’t for her and will get back to B and they’ll live happily ever after :). Great update–thank you.
I agree w/some of your other posters if Tina is too chicken to find out that Bette is her first, last and forever then it isn’t fair to Bette or Ally b/c Tina will always think of what she is missing and Ally will always think that she is second best. And that’s a sad way to live, to think that you didn’t make the first team and perhaps never will. Great story with complexity.
Such a great chapter & story. Lil bummed they didn’t talk, but I’m still holding out hope. Thanks for takin the time.
Crying is good, for the soul, for the complexion. Yes, some battles aren’t meant to be won, but it’s good if the generals can at least meet together on the same field. Tina missed a golden opportunity. How will they move on now? Is the one-sided posthumous resolution of Dana and Alice an example for Bette and Tina? Thanks for the processing, it’s always welcome.
I hope I don’t get hunted down for this but I like Tina and Ally together..
Just … awesome, as always! I love this story so much, so please continue soon!! I like the different point of views, it keeps the story interesting.
great to see this,
now that I’ve actually read this chapter, the suspense is killing me….great Alice and Bette scene, altho I’m a bit worried at Bette’s state…doesn’t feel good…and am anxious about what T is gonna say to Ally, I am so a Tibetter…thanks for the update and please write asap so I can deal with my apprehension and anxiety..nedd some of T’s xanax..
You know your writing just gets better and better – this was a phenomenally emotional chapter with these two – how their understanding of the common emotion is running through them – loss in such different perspectives, how Bette must of felt knowing that only a few metres away that Alice was talking to the one woman who has such a hold over her life, so close and yet so very far away. Brilliant.
Was very glad to see your post this morning. I hope Bette goes to NY and breaks up this Ally and Tina thing. Oh..and I just love a good cry first thing in the morning. please post soon
I see that Tina is still a coward and still can’t deal with confrontation. Let her stay in NY with Ally, but somhow I think Ally will leave her because she knows the truth, not because of Bette but because she realize that she is not the one for Tina. I hope to god that Bette moves on and find someone better for her.
another great chapter! i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again! i love your story! keep posting and soon!! =)
I don’t know what to say…Tina is a chicken…I mean if you are so scared to talk to someone because you might realize you can’t live without them…gee well there is your answer. Please let her come to her senses. If she waits too long Bette will think that she has moved on and will probably do the same and then you know how Tina is, a year from now she’ll realize her mistake and Bette will be married with a kid.
This story is so good….
absolutely brilliant.
let bette go to new york and get back tina back
Another great chapter! It’ll be interesting to see what Tina tells Ally.
Love love your story your best best. But please please break up this little Ally and Tina thing I need Bette and Tina back together pleaseeeee!!!!! :)
very well written. great update.
I have a feeling that the next time we see Tina, it won’t be too pretty.
CG, That was breath-taking. Bette really needs to fight for Tina and show her how much she needs and wants her. Tina is involved with Ally but needs to decide who she really wants to give her whole heart, body, mind and soul too; who she want to share the rest of her life with and who she will trust completely and forever. I want this to be Bette but Ally deserves the truth. Wonderful seeing Bette and Alice support each other while visiting Dana’s grave and lying some of the demons to rest. Just get Bette on a plane to New York now! thank you so much for this tantalizing tale. Your Loyal Fan.
PS. Can’t wait to see what Tina has to say to Ally.
Great, great, great. So, Alice moved on, what about Tina and Bette? Can’t wait to read the following.
PPS. please forgive me for calling you by your characters name – I guess I was really caught up in the story and what Tina has to say to this woman who loves her so. Or maybe I was projecting that you identify with Ally. anyway citygirl I apologize for the slip.
Great chapter. And everyone dealing with loss in their own way, yet realizing what the other person is feeling. I only wish Bette and Tina had not been such cowards about talking to one another. Maybe Bette will need to go to NYC and confront Tina which could be a monumental task. Either way, good or bad they need to talk because no one else needs to get mixed up in the lives of those two until they have done something to determine what they will do about their love and lives. My opinion only. Thanks for a great story.
my surmises so far have been so wrong..cool..your weaves and bobs keep me on my toes. B&T both carry so much baggage. now we get to see what Ally’s made of.what.. you didn’t talk to Bette?sue
Ally – this chapter was Brilliant – I love the philosophical Bette and the deep sadness within her written so beautifully. Alice is also so well written and their deep friendship moving to a real conversation about what really matters to each of them was extremely moving. I think this was your best chapter ever. You amaze me with the depth you are giving us. Many many thanks – these stories move me and move me along with the growth of characters I care about.
WOW….just a big brilliant wow!!!!