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A Lifetime – c 6
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Tina was careful at work not to use terms of endearment on the phone, so it was always ‘Bette,’ not ‘baby.’ She also never said anything like ‘I love you,’ just things like ‘me, too’ when Bette said ‘I love you.’
Bette frowned as she hung up. She wished that sometimes when she talked to Tina at work that Tina could say, “I love you.” She sighed and got back to work.
The Planet
Alice waved when Tina entered and Tina walked over to join her.
“How about we order a pitcher of caf latte?” joked Alice. “We can get hammered by designer-coffee.”
“Sounds good.”
When Alice retuned to the table with the drinks, Tina told her about what happened at work.
“Well, you can’t be surprised about their attitudes,” commented Alice. “You’ve never even taken Bette to any of their social functions so they can start to ‘guess.’”
“Bette doesn’t like being excluded, but she doesn’t say much,” shared Tina.
“Are you ashamed of the kind of relationship you have with Bette?” Alice inquired.
“Of course not,” Tina said quickly.
“Are you proud?”
This time there was not a quick answer or any answer at all. Tina stared into her coffee cup for some moments.
“Think I’ll have some ice cream. Want some?” Tina asked.
Tina returned to the table in a few minutes with a chocolate sundae.
“Won’t that ruin your dinner?” Alice asked.
“Don’t worry, mom, “Tina responded, digging into the sweet gooey delight.
“Are you proud?” Al repeated.
“I’m proud of the kind of person I am; I think I’m a good person,” Tina commented between bites of ice cream. “I’m proud of the success I’ve had in my career.”
Alice watched Tina eat and was uncharacteristically quiet.
“I’m proud that Bette loves me,” Tina said with a shy smile.
“But am I proud that I’m gay? Well, wouldn’t it be kind of like saying that I’m proud that my eyes are brown. I mean, isn’t it just a fact?”
“But people can see that your eyes are brown. They can’t see that you’re gay.”
“I don’t know how to do it,” Tina said, returning to the work problem. “Should I tell a few people and let the word spread or should I take Bette to one of our social functions and hold her hand long enough so that people will know.”
“Are you afraid it will hurt your chances for advancement?” Alice asked. “I mean, it’s the Hollywood movie business; it’s not the congregation of the First Church of the Revelation in Middleville, Iowa.”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. But I guess people will look at me funny.”
“Tina, I think they’ll come around pretty fast. And you and Bette will become ‘old gossip’ quicker than you think.”
“Yeah.”
“The longer you wait, the harder it’ll get.”
“Yeah.” Tears welled up in Tina’s eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Alice asked, concerned.
“I don’t know,” Tina sniffed. “Everything upsets me today. I was upset last night, too.”
Tina picked up the take-out she had ordered earlier and she and Alice walked outside together. Before they parted, Alice had this advice.
“When you introduce Bette, say that she is your ‘partner,’ not your ‘wife.’ You don’t want to terrify those straights at Alphaville too much at first.”
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Wonderful chapter, I’m looking forward to reading about Tina introducing Bette to co-workers. That would be great!
Great update. I hope to see another chapter soon.
Hi.well we could talk about Tina.Been with Bette a long time. I would be wearing a shirt saying I’m in love and Bette Porter is my partner and we are married. Maybe this is where S3 Is coming from.Afraid that People will look at her funny. This started when she begin to go with Bette. Afraid of herself. BASEBALL soon/ that is a safe thing to talk about. Thanks. LOML finally came home Tell you about it soon. thanks
tina hold your head up proud… i love this story… and if tina’s friends don’t like her when she comes out… fuck them… please continue
Why did I have the impression that Tina has come out already? It’s hard to imagine someone who chased a lesbian legend so hard is not ‘out and proud’. I think the basic issue is that Tina always thinks she love Bette as a person instead of a woman. She always labels herself as a str8 woman who’s in love with Bette. Well, but she should know. That’s why we call people lesbian. It’s just a definition, not a name of virus.
Always flabbergasted (when was the last time you heard somebody use that word?) when Alice says something sagacious. She may even be smart enough to not actually wear the coconut bra.
Half Truth Tina up to her tricks.. ; ) Good post.
p.s. R.I.P ~ Dennis Weaver ~ Where have all the cowboys gone.
thanks for the update..have missed you on here. post again soon, please.
Wow! Two years and she still hasn’t come out at work? That’s gotta spell trouble. I wonder how Bette feels…she’s so out and proud. Your writing is great, always leaves me something to think about! Thanks!
great chapter, as long as the angst is light I will be good. God knows there is enough stories on the site that just makes you cry all damn day! Can’t wait to see how this plays out.
good to see you are back pancha – you have been much missed. great chapter and i’m interested to see where this is heading
I’m with missyang on this one. I was totally blindsided by this which is embarrassing seeing as I’ve been able to see a lot of things under the surface. Yet I completely missed that Tina was still pretty closeted? In a way I can understand what she’s saying about pride. Personally, I have a hard time seeing myself running through the streets of my town dancing and singing, “I’m GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” No, that won’t work in my town.
Isn’t Tina wearing a wedding ring, or did she leave it at home when she returned to work? Nice study in contrasts. I love your writing! Thanks!
WOW..great update. Tina is basically stuck between a rock and a hard place. If she continues to live the “straight” image at work, then she deprives sharing that part of herself with Bette. However, if she “outs” herself at work will she have the future she wants professionally. Tina needs to decide whether or not she wants to hide herself and Bette from those she works with, because I think Bette will get annoyed at being her secret. Bette is prideful and doesn’t like to hide who she is from anyone. Alice is right…hmmm, she can give some really good advice. Thanks for the update and please continue.
Wow 2 years and Tina not telling her co-worker that she with Bette. Alice is good!
All this time together and Tina did`nt said a word about Bette? i hope She introduce Bette as soon as posible for the goodness of their relationship. Nice chapter, post soon
wow, tina’s so totally closeted, she needs to come out, alice is rite, it will be harder with time moving on
Pancha,Great direction to take with this loving story. It is wonderful to see that Bette and Tina are loved within their own cocoon of happiness along with their close friends. However mow the outside world is impinging on them and Tina needs/wants the truth out there. Only the truth will set you free so go Tina be loud and be proud. If people turn against you because you are gay then they weren’t true friends to begin with. Others will be shocked but will still be there to support and guide you through life’s adventures. Tina needs to prove to herself and to Bette that she is comfortable in her own skin and being honest is the first step. I love this tender and gentle tale. This is due to your talent and flair. Thank you for continuing this splendid story, Your Loyal Fan.
Oh what a tangled web we weave….!!!Tina is only going to get deeper into this until Someone will get hurt,One lie will only lead to another….OH the possibilities,,oh the drama and oh i love where your going with this,Thanks.
Pancha, thanks for continuing to write this as well as your other stories. I’ve enjoyed them all and always look forward to a new post from you.
Hmmm, look out Tina. I for see Bette going ape shit in the not so distant future. Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this fantastic chapter, Pancha. I just watched Sunday’s episode and I’m pretty sure that walking barefoot on molten lava would have been less painful. But hey, that’s just my opinion. Holla’ back!
First Church of the Revalation, you kill me. Great chap.
Tina really needs to get out of the closet….she is married god d… it