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    A Long Walk – 4, pt. II

    Story written on June 7, 2006 by tiff_duke.
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    Number of Comments: 37
    Words: 2492
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=61234
    Author Notes:

    You’ve got to at least tell me the long version.

    Tina turned to her in surprise. "Why?"

    Indeed, why. Bette avoided Tina’s gaze. "I never really had that kind of romantic notion about relationships. I was never that idealistic. I learned at an early age, you know, not to invest in anyone, not after what happened with my mom. Then you came along –"

    Tina quickly averted her gaze, hearing Bette’s sharp intake of breath.

    "You came along, and suddenly I understood what all the love songs meant. I understood what it meant to be so happy with someone that it breaks your heart. I understood what it meant to want to put someone else before myself." Bette laughed softly. "When we discussed children, I understood what all those stupid songs meant about children being our future, and whatever."

    Bette glanced at Tina, whose gaze was fixed on the jungle gym.

    How clear were the lines they’ve drawn? How far were they willing to push the other, see how many times they can cross the line, to each other? To explain their individual feelings?

    Bette figured, when this afternoon ended, Tina was going to walk away, and might as well say everything that had been in her mind ever since Tina had discovered about her affair with the carpenter.

    Because at the end of the afternoon Tina was still going to be able to walk away from her.

    Bette took a deep breath. "Sometimes, Angelica looks at me, at just the right angle, and she looks just like you."

    Tina didn’t even flinch.

    "And I think to myself, how can I let this go. How did I find it within myself to treat you the way I did, to cheat on you the way I did. Yes, I still hate you for cheating on me, for letting you go when you said you had feelings for men. But I remember the way I felt, lying in bed beside you, when you told me that, that broken feeling knowing we were at a crossroads and in one direction, I would never get you back."

    Tina lowered her head, remembering that night, the way she’d broken down, telling Bette her confusion, and how Bette had placed a hand on her back, trying desperately to comfort her, but not knowing what the right thing to say was.

    And the awful realization that nothing Bette could have said would have changed the outcome.

    "It was easier, then, five years ago." Bette continued. "Letting you go, all the way to New York. It was easier when I’d come to terms with you being straight. I mean, that was it. That was your decision. And I had no place in that decision. I’ll be your eight-year relationship, we have a kid, that was going to be my role in your life."

    Tina glanced at her.

    Bette’s own gaze was somewhere else down the path. "So I did what I did. I dated. I got involved with people. I couldn’t commit, but I was open to the possibility. There were women — a lot of women — and it’s fun, it’s nice, but nothing that made me feel like, you know, this is it. She was the one. It just never happened. I kept waiting, waiting for a woman to come into my life, capture my attention, keep me riveted and make me imagine a future with them."

    Tina wondered if touching Bette’s hair, in the same soothing manner she used to, would be too much for the brunette.

    "I missed you, but I had to give up on you, and the possibility of you and me again." Bette said quietly. "But now you tell me you’ve gone back to women, and not just any woman. Not even a new one. You’ve gone back to women, and you picked Helena Peabody."

    Tina was silent.

    "You picked Helena Peabody, and not me." Bette hated how she was laying it all down now, spelling out her feelings to the woman who had once held such a tight rein on them, and had stomped and trampled all over them.

    Bette was lost in thought over why she was telling this to Tina, when she noticed Tina had begun to walk further down the path. "Tina."

    Page 5 of 512345
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    Comments

    3. wow, this is getting intense now, no more easy talking…i hope tina appreciates bette’s opening her heart to her…thank for the wonderful dialog again

    10. Bette’s candor is very touching and her longing for T is palpable. OK, I’m gonna say it: I hope you get them together in this story. With that done, I’ll just sit back and read now. Thank you!

    12. one cliffhanger i can deal with …followin up with a better cliffhanger is a low blow tht hurts man i mean cummon u know you have us hooked on to your story probably wrapped around your lil pinky finger but this is way too much :) am jus kidding it was a pleasure reading it but pls post soon or imight get few grey hair in mornin from jus worryin are they gonna get back together or jus polite fuckyou too each other and remain friends

    14. I wonder what is going through Tina’s head as Bette has laid her heart out to her. From the beginning one gets the feeling that Tina knows that the one person that made her feel whole was Bette. In all of her relationships the one thing that she was missing was what Bette could give her. It sounds like Tina compared all of her lovers to Bette as well as Bette compared all of hers to Tina. Hopefully now they can once again examine all those feelings. I hope that you will post soon. I need my tiff_duke fix.

    15. Wow, after that confession, I guess I am surprised that Tina is walking away, I love how honest Bette was and she is right, going to Helena is a slap in the face. PS, I never felt it necessary for authors to respond individually to comments. I can’t even imagine how long that would take you! I would far prefer you to spend the time writing the next chapter!

    16. Why must they have to stop themselves from touching each other – I love the flow – it’s perfect – even with it’s teasing cliffhangers or maybe because of them.

    19. It’s kind of amazing to see Bette so completely open emotionally without getting carried away emotionally. Tina is a bit more evasive, at least initially, but she too is getting to the heart of things so to speak. Shocking, but I’m buying it.

    20. Wow…whada. You have thrown us a boom and you just leave us hanging there, Evil! “You picked Helena Peabody, and not me.” I feel really bad for Bette, all these years she still hasn’t moved on. Life is short, make it sweet! please ;)

    21. Heartbreaking, and I hope Tina heard and understood everything that Bette was telling her. As techgal has referenced a song, The Answer Is You, that is what they should be telling each other. Because they are each other’s answer or LOVE as it were. I know Tina must be crying as she is walking away. Please post soon.

    30. Don’t apologise for cliff hangers – you know we love the drama really (lesbians without drama – thats just not right!) But please post the next bit soon!!!! I’m taking my laptop on holiday to remote dial up hell just to keep up with this!

    31. Well I hope that Tina had her bat ears on and she heard what Bette was saying to her…and why did you stop? Looking forward to reading more. Thank you.

    32. Tina knows now that Bette still loves her deeply and always will. Tina knows that she loves Bette but would it work the third time around. Its up to you.its your story.Please post soon thanks

    34. Wow… I feel strongly for Bette, but I can’t make a decision on Tina yet; I feel like she still needs to come back with her heart-wrenching admissions of love, or something. I hope it all works out.

    36. Hey TD, Okay about the personal comments so will PM you if I want so feedback. As for this part; it certainly didn’t shy away from the hard and intense questions. It was amazing to hear your dialogue as the scene played out in my head. Tina and Bette laughing about their past together and their failures in the relationship stakes. WOnderful to have them talking so freely. If only this walk down memory lane re-ignites the embers of their partnership. Please continue soon. Thank you for these wondrous words. Your Loyal Fan.

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