“So you don’t love him?”

            Tina pushed back so she could see Bette’s face. “If your asking if I love him like I love you the answer is no. I can never love anyone as much as I love you.”

            Bette buried her head into Tina’s shoulder. “I don’t understand. Why can’t we make us work?”

            “Because Bette.” Her hand began to move in lazy circles up Bette’s spine. “We are too passionate. We burn too brightly and too quickly to sustain over prolonged periods of time. It is just too intense.”

            “You want us to become friends again.”

            Tina bit back a laugh. “No, we can never be just friends. As soon as you walk into a room my temperature raises.”

            “We shouldn’t let this happen again.”

            Tina gently lifted Bette’s head. “I don’t know how we can stop it.” She lowered her lips to Bette’s. “I always tell myself just once more. Just once more.” Tina kissed Bette again harder this time. “Please.”

            “Just once more.” Bette took charge. She pushed them out of the moon light and into the shrouded darkness of the bed. “Only once more, Tina.”

            “Bette, I love you. I’ll always…”

            Bette silenced Tina’s confessions with her lips and her tongue. She drowned out the words just as she let her feeling drown in the passion. She knew Tina was right, there would always be a just once more with them. They were addicted to each other. For them there would be no recovery, no redemption, there would only be the next binge.

            Their love would be forever the all consuming kind. They would be forced to repress it until it could no longer be contained. When the craving became too great they would be forced to drop everything and disappear into the darkness. Each time it would be harder and harder to emerge.

            Bette lay on the bed exhausted. The sun was beginning to shine through the grimy window. She watched Tina appear from the bathroom. She looked refreshed. It seemed impossible that she was the same woman who was up all night screaming Bette’s name. Bette closed her eyes trying to engrain the image of Tina with her head thrown back and her back arched up off the bed. “Fuck me, Bette. Don’t stop, never stop.” Bette hoped the memory would sustain her through the tough times.

            Tina stood at the foot of the bed. “I have to go. Mikey has a soccer game today.”

            Bette didn’t open her eyes, not wanting to see the woman Tina had become.

            “I’ll call you about Angelica. We will work something out.”

            “Yeah sure.”

            “Bette, I…” Tina stopped; it would do no good to say those words. “Goodbye.” She leaned over to place a gentle kiss on Bette’s lips.

            Bette opened her eyes when she heard the door open.

Tina had paused in the doorway. She looked over her shoulder. The sun’s rays only lit half of her face. She was two different people struggling for control of one body. “Until next time.” She turning and strode into the colorful Californian sunrise.

The door closed but the light wouldn’t be shut out. The harsh realty of the hotel forced Bette out of bed and into her clothes. She glanced once more at the disheveled bed. Part of her hoped it would never come to this again but she knew it would. “Just once more,” she promised the darkened bed.