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After loving you – c 4
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After loving you chapter 4 Can all the king’s horses and all the king’s men A tornado had ripped through their lives and they were both too shaken to understand exactly what had happened. They knew that their lives were shattered much as those little towns on the Great Plains and elsewhere which stand in the way of the unpredictable and furious storms. Sometimes they thought about the debris that was their relationship, but mostly they walked past the disaster scene or stepped over it and took their lives in different directions. Several days after Bette left A car pulled up in front of Kit’s apartment and three women got out. Bette had phoned them and asked them to meet her here and they were a little early. They had come in one car because they had been too nervous to come separately. Bette let them in and got drinks for all. Alice thought Bette looked calm, but tired. Dana was just worried. And Shane had guessed what was happening but hadn’t told anyone. They all sat quietly and waited for Bette to start. “I’ve moved out.” They all hoped it was just a temporary fight and Bette was staying with Kit for a few days. But Bette didn’t like to be away from her daughter so they were apprehensive. “I’ve leased a condominium.” Well, it was pretty bad. Worse than they had thought. They all continued to sit there quietly, waiting. “She wants an open relationship. She wants to date other people.” They were now so shocked that they couldn’t have said anything if they had wanted to. “She’s seeing a man from work.” The silence of the three women went from nervous quiet to deadly quiet. Kit watched these women react to the news she had known for several days. She wasn’t sure because Bette hadn’t elaborated, but the fact that Tina was dating a man seemed to be not just cheating, but a rejection of who Bette wasand who Alice was and who Dana was and who Shane was. “I need your help to move my stuff to the condo.”
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I hate that this is happening to them. . .but I can’t stop reading! I’ve always liked your stories, and although this one is making me bang my head on my desk repeatedly. . I still will continue reading. I sure as hell hope the show will not be as painful, although I highly doubt that. . .keep em’ coming!
They always say be careful what you wish for. Tina’s getting what she asked for, she said she needed space, needed an open relationship;however, did she really think it was going to be that easy? Tina needs to figure out what she wants without making Bette the bad guy if it doesn’t work. Can she forgive Bette? Who knows, but can she forgive herself? Tina’s running from something she’s not willing to face, but she will now because Bette’s no longer there to blame. Thanks for the chapter. I will be watching S3 with hope that they can heal themselves and then come together to heal each other.
Oh how these two needed to talk.. Anger never goes away until you kick its ass and say fuck it, it’s exhausting me.. Being punished is just something you will accept in the limit you are able to take.. but once it exceeds that limit, enough is definitely ENOUGH..
I never thought I would say this but I don’t think I want B/T together,they might be happier with someone else,can’t believe I said that.
Why is reading this story like slow torture. You feel like its your own relationship falling apart, most likely because in some strange way we all feel connected to B&T. Talking should have happend long ago, but sometimes we try to avoid that which is most true. The faults, the blame, the anger, its all there along with the love, but not even love can support all of those emotions. I still feel Bette did the right thing, Tina needs to wake up and smell the roses. You made your bed girl now you can lye in it, alone.
i hate what they are doing to each other…especially tina…so now that bette’s gone she’s going to explore her options? does she even love bette anymore? seems like not, because she doesn’t want to even fight for them…i don’t know how this can help you to live through s3…makes me even more moody…i think i’m gonna make bette’s plane crash in my story, this is how sad i am LOL
Anybody know Ilene Chaiken’s number? We gotta get this girl on staff to explain things like character and motivation to the scriptwriters.
I also feel relieved for Bette somehow. I can imagine the tensity between Tina and Bette. Bette must be trying so hard to do every right thing and say every right word. It’s not life. So it’s a kind of extrication to Bette. Bette needs to find her confidence and the way to keep her alphaness. I want to see Tina feel hurt. How can you not feel hurt after losing such an amazing partner like Bette? But I also feel hurt when I see Tina hurt. I hope Bette could forgive Tina and show Tina how to truly forgive someone. Without a happy ending, I’d die with everlasting regret. :'(
You are doing such a great job with this – you are showing how healthy it is for Bette to be free from Tina’s persistant torture. And Tina needs to go through a ‘F!@# like a bunny’ phase for a bit and stop trying to have relationships – She doesn’t know what’s out there or who…But if she is still into guys, it’s time she left Bette alone. I want to see Bette enjoy herself again!!!! Can’t wait for your next post.
BTW, to BTF, if you arranged Bette’s plane to crush in your story, you’d better disable the rating. =P
OK…this may look a little sadistic, but I kind of enjoy what’s happening to Tina…the whole “gang turned their back on her” thing I mean…
It’s kinda making me sad to read this…but it makes so much sense for them to seperate even though its breakin’ our hearts! Hope they can talk and that things won’t be so painful! Great chapter!
i think it took both of them to fuck up their relationship. tina should have told bette she was pregnant from day one,and she sould of said why she is really coming back home. tina is the one who will loose in the end because bette has accepted it and is moving on.
Someone should assasinate IC and put you on board. From the S3 spoilers I’ve heard about it’s just ridiculous what IC has come up with. All that drama is not necessary!! Anyway I think Tina is a dumbass! How can you call yourself a lesbian and then be attracted to a guy? I want to see Bette enjoy herself and Tina needs to wake the hell up and make up her mind about what the fuck she wants! Honestly I don’t think I’ll live through S3, but you toughing my up with this story is really building up my confidence!! Can’t wait for next post!!!!!
I understand to a degree where Tina is coming from (except the man thing) and hopefully they will be able to learn to communicate. Regardless of what happens either in your story or in S3 there will always be a bond between the two through their child. (Please don’t let IC decide that Bette feels the same way about the baby that her father did!) Crap – I’ve depressed myself again… :o)
When the fridge breaks, you go get someone to fix it. Nobody wants spoiled food. In an open relationship, when your fridge breaks, you go next door and ask your neighbour if you could stash some food in her fridge. And the fridge stays unfixed. So wrong in all levels. My mind and heart are open to a lot of things but an open relationship isn’t one of them. I am so pissed off at Tina big time. If she is my friend, she will hear everything she needs to hear till she can’t hear no more. Wow! You managed to get me so emotionally involved in your story that I am find myself rooting for and hooting at your characters. You rock, Pancha. Please continue. Cheers!
You rock, Pancha!! I’m getting all emotional reading this story. I just hope they can work through the anger, really sit down and talk, and start to re-build a new relationship stronger than the one they had before.
First, thanks for continuing. Glad to see Bette live a full life again. Tina, doesn’t seem at all remorseful. I still think this Tina is on drugs, lol!
I am still loving this story. I liked the details on the shattered glass, much like Bette and Tina’s relationship right now. The question is can it be mended, should it be replace it or buy a different one altogether??? I see where Tina is coming from,it’s a shitty way to do it but this seperation is needed. First off we don’t have much information regarding Tina’s background and sexuality. Granted she may have fell in love with Bette but that does not mean her attraction to men has stopped. People are attracted to other people for different reasons regardless. Tina and Bette need this time to figure out what they want. It can’t just be because they don’t want the relationship to fail or feel obligated to try. It should be because they want to because it’s worth it. I don’t think it’s a matter of Tina not loving Bette It’s the trust and anger factor. Tina has allowed this to build and build without addressing it. While Bette was justified in giving Tina a tongue whiplashing, some responsibility is on her as well for allowing thier issues to be on the backburner. Please continue! I would like to see a happy ending with them together but I will just have to see how you play this out.(BTW- I never really beleived Bette’s character having an affair. It would have been more believeable if she just seperated from Tina before it went to that point)
“She keeps Moet & Chandon, in a pretty cabinet … let them eat cake, she says, just like Marie Antoinette.”So Tina fell down off her throne … er the wall … no, her throne. So sad, too bad, tell Dad.Excellent again, Pancha. Curious to see what happens next — and am positive you’ll keep us right where we belong — reading to find out! It’s so curious to me, this way she has of dealing with her anger, which isn’t to deal with it at all. Bette made a mistake – a whopper, granted — she is human, she is allowed. I love your concept of Tina truly thinking Bette would take the punishment forever, and Tina would cavalierly dish it out forever. This is yummy.
I love your writing so much. I cannot stay away. I’m hopscotching from the author’s notes to the comments, never letting my eyeballs stray. I just came by to say hi. “Hi!”
There is a fine line between love and hate and it seems as though Tina became the erasure. The apathy that Bette is expressing is more troubling than anger or grief. When one party of the couple reaches that point, rarely do they ever find their way back to each other. You were right in having Bette leave, an open relationship is behaving like you are single….so, why bother being a couple? Good job. Five sparklers for you!
S3 is going to be painful, but I love your story. Bette needs a REAL woman, who will love her faults and all. OK, she made a whopper of a mistake, but if you love someone and want to work it out you do, remember the vows”for better or worse”, Tina must have been asleep for that part…let’s see how Tina reacts when Bette starts her end of the open relationship.
You hit in on the head – they don’t know themselves at all – they act and react but never seem to look within – now maybe they will and it seems like they are both more interested in freedom then one another – so sad. Can’t wait to see where you take this. I know it’s not how I wanted it to be – I wanted the affair to awaken them to looking within but alas IC couldnt write it that way so we are stuck with the man hunt for Tina and what for Bette? I await your creation… you rock.
I agree I love this story and hate it at the same time..I really hope the show doesn’t ttake us so far in this direction. from the previews we are going to have some of it but I hope it doesn’t go this far.. Keep wriitng you are excellent.
I’m happy for Bette…but NOOOOOOOOO! They have to get through this, “explore their options” or whatever, and realize what issues they need to work on and get back to-damn-gether!
well TIna did ask for it by wanting an open realtionship…post soon=)
You’re doing a good job pancha see a lot of folks like BP with a backbone. I really can’t see this couple in an open relationship. Tina needs to deal with her Timen feelings.
you are really trying to prepare us for S3, aren’t you? I sit here sick, taking Nyquil, and depressed. I will be back for more pancha because your write it so well. Lastkid..shouldn’t you be writing???
Pancha…Thanks for the personal response. I know that commenting takes a great amount of time. You did answer my question. I did want to know how difficult it is for you to write. What disturbs me in this chapter is Tina’s nonchalant attitude towards Bette leaving. It’s as if the parents have gone on vacation and the teenagers are taking care of themselves. Par-tee! You are correct. They are not introspective especially (IMO) Tina. Plus, I don’t know if Tina has the inner resolve to work through the tough road ahead. It may seem as if it will be fun and games for Tina but as Marti said Bette won’t be around to blame if something goes wrong. She will miss Bette’s strong “paternal” nature. Bette handled much of the expenses, she fixed things that went awry. What a mess! I’m wondering how I would write the next chapter(s). Please write enough chapters so that you will be eligible for an award at this site. Your story is mesmerizing and addictive.
B&T almost remind me of Romeo and Juliet: Doomed from the start. Except for B&T it wasn’t a family feud that doomed them, but like you said, they don’t know each other or even themselves (Hell that’s exactly why I personally am not looking to get involved with anyone at this time so this kind of shit really makes me want to box their jaws.). I was actually shocked by Tina’s reply to Bette’s email. I figured she’d end it with “I love and miss you.” It’s also odd that Tina didn’t get cut when she shattered the “glass” (her life perhaps?) and tried to just sweep it up and throw it away like it really didn’t matter. Had she gotten cut, maybe she would realize she won’t always be the golden girl who wins in the end. Oh and LOL@lastkid for quoting Queen. lol
Wow, so many comments…def looks like you hit a siatic nerve!!! Pls keep going this is soooo helping with the S3 arrival..Pls if you could I need longer chapters or more often…good therapy!!!
if this is not the end i dont know what it is..htey are feeling free Bette are confortable..and Tina drinking her guilt..but in teh end Bette is the one to blame..she started that dominoes game… on piece fall and the others are falling too..i hope will be hope for then if love still exist and about the gang they are worng cy ztIna need them too..this is not friendship..still painful..lol.post soon thanks
This is so heartwrenching… but i guess reading this will prepare us for the S3. Love this story! On another note, I have an issue with the way Alice, Shane, and Dana are written (I’m not picking on you- I’ve seen it with other writers). It seems like they are written as fair-weather friends. If they are truly friends of both Bette and Tina wouldn’t they support B & T even when they don’t agree with either Bette’s or Tina’s actions? Isn’t that the true meaning of friend/family? Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. I still love reading your stories :)
daqmn your good. im so glad you are writing. painful but oh so spot on. i will hate s3 also. thanks.last kid – go and write please.
As I read each chapter, I feel the loneliness of Tina, but I do understand what she thought she was doing. As a surviver of Hurrican Ivan and the destruction of my home, I feel the loss of something that was a comfort to me. Bette is doing what she needs to do to survive. I think that both still love each other, but just have no clue how to frogive each other and really talk. Tina has got to figure out a way to deal with Bette’s affair without hurting the one person that makes her whole. Bette will always have Tina’s heart and Tina will always have Bette’s heart. Now if they can just beat together again!
This is so fucking sad and painful, but love it. This is time for Tina to think what she did. Ok post soon please, thanks!
Bette started this,not really they both had a hand in it Not talking,Tina shuting Bette out. It like a cT IF YOU DONT FEED AND WATER IT AND LOVE IT WANDERS OFF That is what did wander off. Tina shouldn’t have moved back in with Bette if she feel the anger and really hasn’t forgiven Bette Bette took the shit and id she was slowly dying from it. Bette will Make it Tina will have a hard time, The friends are gone this time. thanks U
Great work Pancha!!! Difficult story to tackle but you do it so well!!!
For now I think the best that could happen to them is to be apart… Did Tina try to contect her friends? I guess she’s too embarassed to do that.Anyway, keep post.
ANGUISHED!!!
Argh… pancha! Damn USC and Tina!… why does she have to like them?? Fine, I’ll let this one slide because I cant stay mad at Tina… sigh.