Tina was waiting for her therapy session to start. She didnt know what to say or how to say it. She stood up and started pacing the room. A quiet Dan Foxworthy was looking at her. Tina looked at him, wondering, then she asked, almost whispering, afraid to ask.

How do you know if you still love somebody? Do you love somebody because you used to or because you really do?
Dan looked at Tina in silence, then after watching her sitting down on the couch he leaned, asking.
Do you love her?

Tina looked at him, quiet. She didnt want to say what she was thinking, she was afraid of hearing those words. Saying them out loud, listening to them could make them real and she was not ready to face that reality, not yet…. she was not even sure if her thoughts were a reality, maybe it was just that she was tired of everything, maybe she was looking for an easy exit.
Time was passing and Tina was still quiet thinking about them, fighting them.

Why dont we talk about how you feel about women? Dan wasnt looking at Tina, he was writing something down in his small notebook.

Women? What you mean about women? Tina was confused, she didnt quite got what he was asking her.
Womenother womenyou said Bette is the only woman you have been with, right?
Yes she is
But Tina, tell me.all those years with Bette, did you ever thought about other women?about how other women made you feel?
Tina was looking at Dan, she was thinking about other women, and to her surprised she was thinking about one in particular,one that was in her thoughts lately. It was so new, so recent. Without noticing she was smiling.
What makes you smile like that Tina?
Uh?
The question made Tina blushed and came back to reality.
You were smiling and just now you blushed, you want to talk about that?
Tina wasnt sure but then she thought, what the *****, he is the person to talk with about this, he wont judge me so..

I dont know, is just wellyou know Bette is the only woman I have been with and till a few months ago Id never thought about being with another woman but then after all that happened to us, to me I dont knowis like a whole new world is open to me
Tina stopped, what she just said hit her, she didnt even know she was thinking or feeling that.

A couple of weeks ago I kissed another woman Tina looked at Dan, waiting for his reaction but his face was not showing any. Tina stood up again and walked towards the window, leaning she rose her hand and started drawing on the glass with her finger.

It was sweet, unexpected and made me feel great. But as much as I love that woman, she is one of my closest friends I didnt want to go onwellmaybe I did but, she stopped it. ..I dont knowI dont know why I kissed her, maybe it was because she told me that she loved meit wasnt a surprised, it was a surprised hearing her saying it. Ive know all these years that she was in love with me and I love her too, Its just too complicate, she is one of Bettes best friends too. I think I kissed her because I really wanted to feel her, because I love her even when I know I am not in love with her, but at that time, kissing her and feeling love by her was just what I needed, even when I didnt plan on it. I.., I cant really kiss somebody who I dont care aboutwell.I used to think that.. IIve Ive always been monogamous you know and but but now I feel like Id kiss many people.
Many? Dan asked Tina who because of the question was looking at him now, still leaning on the window frame.
not many, many..like MANY.. I mean I Id kiss another woman and I dont think I need to really care for them.. I dont know , maybe
And, why do you think that is Tina?
Mmm, I dont know. (Tina started pacing the room again), I I guess I want to know how it feels
How it feels what?
Tina stopped her pace and looking down she almost whispered.
Feeling unknown lips against mine, feeling others wanting me, feeling feeling lust againjust (slowly tears were running down Tinas cheeks)I just want to feel



Bette was driving to the Planet, she was picking up Alice, they were going to have dinner. She wanted to spend some time with her, she knew she was bit depress without Dana and she also wanted to tell her about Tina. Its been two days since she saw Tinas email, she wasnt sure what It mean but just seeing thos words she wrote and knowing that Tina was reading hers made Bette very happy.

They finally made it. They were at an outdoor small Italian restaurant that both of them liked.
Bette was checking her cell and Alice was staring at a young woman who was sitting two tables across them. Bette frown realizing there was no message from Tina but then she thought that maybe it was too soon. She put the cell back in her purse and looking back at Alice smiled. She could not stop smiling at the look on her friends face.
Finding anything you like Al?
Uh?
That woman over there.. Bette was subtly pointing
yeah, dont you think she looks exactly like Dane?
Dane? Bette was trying not to laugh, the woman Alice was looking at looked nothing like Dana.
Well Al, you might need to go check that glasses of yours because that woman looks nothing like Dane!, mg Al she is blonde and not what you can call skinny
Alice looked back to the woman, seeing her for the first time.
Uh, yeah well, I meanshe is ..I dont know (blushing) ok forget it ok!
Bette took Alices hand in hers, laughing.

Alice was back to her old self, she was looking at Bette now, studying her.
Mm, Bette, tell me as much as I love being taken to dinnerits a bit strange so.. tell me ..whats new?
Bette could not stop the big smile that was growing on her face.
Tina answered me
“She did?
Alice was surprised. After all, she spent the whole weekend with Tina and she didnt look like she was in the mood to talk with Bette and then just yesterday she listen to Tina talking with somebody on the phone, flirting thought Alice then. An she was sure it was not Bette.
Bette was looking at Alice, concern was on her face as she saw how surprised her friend was by what she just said.
Yes Al she did, why? (Bette started to feel fear growing inside and as always with her she hid behind the well known anger wall) What? You thought she wouldnt? thats what you think? That she wont talk with me? That I deserve what is happening to me? Do you?

Alice was taken aback by Bettes reaction but shed see how scare Bette was.
wowhey, stop it woman!…I didnt say a word wow whats with you Bette? I think is great that you two talked.

Bette was calmed down now, feeling bad for her sudden reaction at those simple words.
We havent talked Al
Oh..ok Alice was lost again, she wasnt understanding what Bette was saying.
She, she answered one of my emails Bette was feeling her eyes watering. She was not going to let Alice see her crying so she looked down, taking her purse and nonchalantly she searched for something that she didnt need.
Alice saw how close Bette was to start crying and knowing how much she hated to be seeing that way she just started babbling about Dana.

They decided to take a walk after dinner. They were enjoying some ice cream, walking in silence for a while.
“She must be sleeping now”
“What?”
“Dana, she must be sleeping now.”
“Oh, yeah..well better for her to have a good night sleep if she wants to play well, right?”
“Yeah, yeah I guess”
Bette had to smiled at her friends cuteness. They walked in silence a bit more.
“She must be reading now, taking a bath, am sure
“Uh?”
“Tina”
“Oh”
“Yeah, she loves reading in the tub “Bette couldnt hide a bittersweet smile.
“What? I saw it, you were smiling there
“Nah, its just well you know”
“Yeah I know”Alice was smiling too, giving an “Oh yeah baby I know” smile to Bette.
“No, I mean well that too, god! that too.. But I meant(smiling again) You know how clumsy Tina is….”
“Yeah” Alice laughed, remembering.
“Well you should see her books and wellmagazines”
“Oh yeah now I know why all your magazines look so so. whats the word? mmm
Bette was laughing hard now, at her wordless friend and at her memories.


Tina was indeed in the tub. She was relaxing, thinking about her therapy session and then with a bold smile on her face she took her cell from the floor and sinking her body in the warm water started writing a message. She did it fast and as she was watching the cells screen saying the message was gone she noticed something,
*****!”
Tina was staring at her cell now.
*****, *****!” wrong number she thought