Chapter 10

Tina remembered Leigh’s retreating figure as the broken woman disappeared behind the terminal door.  So much had happened in the span of 2 weeks that altered the course of both women lives.  Leigh’s visit reconfirmed Tina’s decision to move thousand of miles across the country.  She did not runaway from her obligation but rather seek closure from the past to freely embrace the future.  What she did not count on is how strongly the past still taken a hold of her.

“I’m sorry Leigh.” Tina held Leigh’s hands in hers as the answer to the marriage proposal slipped out.

“Tina, I can wait if you need more time.” Leigh’s hands grasped tightly around Tina’s, her voice cracked and eyes desperately pleading.  The unraveling of Leigh breaks Tina’s heart.  In the months following Leigh’s initial proposal, Tina had replayed all what if scenarios in her mind.  Without a doubt, Leigh will bring her happiness and comfort with devotion.

“Time is my enemy.” Tina sadly concluded, Leigh deserve an explanation and closure that eluded hers.  Tina spends the next few hours retelling the beginning and end of her first love. 

“Do you still love her?” Leigh asked, painfully aware of the potential answer yet there was a sense of hope.

“I just want closure.” Tina said, avoiding Leigh’s inquisitive eyes.

“Then there’s hope for us?” Leigh reaches for Tina’s hand and places it on hers.  Trying to convey her sincere effort in salvaging what’s left of their relationship.

“Leigh, you know as well as I do that my heart never been completely tune with yours.  I tried; I really tried to let all of it go to be where you are.  That conflicting force of my heart is holding me back.  She ruined it for me.  I’ve hidden it well under the pretext of hatred.  I could never hate her.  The unknown, the pain is always there, dormant, but disabling.  I don’t want that for us or you.”

“Tina, if you let me I’ll do my best to fulfill what’s missing in your life…” Leigh final plead cut short by Tina’s voice as her hand being released from grasp.

“That is what I don’t want Leigh.  You giving up too much of yourself, I can’t be that selfish person anymore.  I do love and care for you deeply.  I need us to maintain that affection and respect gained from our brief union.  You have certainly invested more into this relationship then I ever could.  Please forgive me for the pain I caused you.  I sincerely hope to retain a friendship with you, but it might not be what you want.  When the time comes and you’re ready, I’m only just a phone call away.”