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Angelica’s Fifth Fourth ~ Chapter Eight
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Bette made an attempt to stop her reverie. She chastised herself for wallowing in self-pity. She reminded herself that her choices had been good choices in light of the available information. She tried to stop the second guessing, the “what ifs.”
Her attempt to use force of will to stop the thoughts was unsuccessful, as it usually was.
She reminded herself again to count her blessings, and a song popped into her head, something she had not thought of in decades. The singer, she was sure, was Bing Crosby because she also had an image of him singing to someone. It was obviously from a movie:
“When you’re worried and cannot sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep,
And you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings.”
She wondered if sheep counting ever worked for anyone. Bette sighed quietly. “Come on, Ghost of Christmas whenever,” she sarcastically beckoned the inevitable next onslaught of memories. She hoped that if she followed those to their end, her reward would be to sleep for the remaining part of the night.
The CAC had been exciting. Since shows take many months to organize, it wasn’t until almost eighteen months after her arrival that the museum had the first show she had planned and organized. In support of her new position, some of the artists for whom she had been a gallerist early in their careers agreed to a group show. Several artists she knew in similar circumstances or through other artists, also agreed to be shown at the CAC.
Two and a half years into her tenure, another Board coup returned the old guard to power. Some were impressed with the museum’s changes. Others wanted to return to the way things had been. Franklin, the leader of that group, grabbed complete control of the Board in less than another year.
Bette began her list of the many concurrent events that led to her CAC debacle. She knew that had any one of them changed, she would still be the museum’s director. However, she also knew that had she been better at handling things, she also would still be at the CAC.
Her father always said that the successful never have excuses. It was a harsh view, but Bette believed it was true. She knew that she had failed at the CAC. And she had lots of excuses.
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”I apologize for no shout-outs.” – never worry about that, Spumoni!… especially when you’ve already said this: ‘Special thanks and gratitude for those who comment and PM. As other site authors have truthfully said, the encouragement keeps me posting.’… :-)
Enjoyed Bette’s late night thoughts, hopefully Tina will feel better soon and can join the discussion.
Nice to see another chap! I know it’s thought that I enjoy ragging on someone in particular, but I just call em like I see em, and a big question was presented in this very chap. Why should Person 1 in a relationship feel entitled to enjoy a career that is fickle and unstable, however much she might enjoy it, and be fine with this arrangement, if Person 2 had to leave the profession SHE loved and take positions that are killing her spirit, in order to ensure financial stability for the family? Oh, this one hurt, Spumoni, I have very fair skin and when I was a stupid kid, fried myself too often. I can still feel how sick I’d get and how much it hurt. Tina needs to put on a gallon of sunscreen.
gallery is a great idea, i hope tina feels better soon so they can talk about it….P.S. Angelica has better table manners than me :)
Thx for the thx. Once of those voice recognition programs would be good. I fell asleep in the sun once; what a mean burn. Inspite of cream etc. I still lost the skin off my back. Now Bette. I know what she means by ‘fraud’. I feel like that where I teach at a private high school for boys. Its like taking $$$$ under false pretences. I wonder sometimes what happened to honesty in education. Like Bette, the students would be best steered in a direction that could lead to a gainful career. Let her have her Gallery. She deserves it after all the shyt she’s survived. Let T be the big $$$$$$ earner, she likes what she does & she’s good at it. In fact, let Helena buy the studio out & put T in charge as part of her recompense to Bette and Tina for the damage she did. BETTE COULD MAKE THAT A CONDITION!!!! PPS
I fell asleep on the beach once, on a cloudy day, no sunburn on a cloudy day, right? WRONG..but only one side of my face was turned to the sun. Only one side burned and peeled and looked just lovely, the other half untouched. Quite a sight it was. Tina doesn’t need Helena to secure her career, she hasn’t had to sacrifice anything. I want Bette to do what she loves now, and is it odd that Helena has seen and cared about, what Tina hasn’t?
Brilliant writing, just brilliant! Thank you!!
Just doing a job b/c it is stable can kill one’s spirit. But Bette has responsibilty. If Helena is going to be her sugar mommy then that might work if it doesn’t belittle Bette.
I don’t want Bette to be belittled either, but I didn’t get the sense that Helena was trying to do that. Don’t lots of galleries have backers,sponsors, whatever they are called, etc?
Wow, three posts in quick succession. I enjoyed Bette & Boo’s carousel ride and all the arcade games that you oh so patiently and expertly described. Loved the quick glances that Tina and Bette made to each other and their daughter during the ride to and from the beach. Loved the ornate sand castle that the family built. It took time to build and they could have considered it a waste of time because the waves will simply wash it away. But I see it as a metaphor for their family life. It takes a lot of time and effort to build something beautiful like their family and they have to create and recreate their bond tirelessly every day. I love reborn junk-food-junkie Bette, smart-ass Tina who’s surprised and awed by Bette’s inner childlikeness and more importantly, the utterly cute and adorable Angie who burst into tears out of worry for her sunburnt Mama T. I love this story, Spumoni! Huge thanks to you!!! :>
Great post lady. What the heck is Helena really up to? PPS
The mind can play so man tricks on the psyche and one’s life. Bette is successful she just may not have proceeded to do what she wanted as a young adult. Life has a way of messing with one’s dreams.
Spumoni, just caught up with this story. I’m blown away. You capture the true voice of the characters beautifully. “She had loved her gallery. She loved Tina more.” That particular bit really moved me I think because we all make sacrifices for the ones we love. I will be anxiously awaiting your next update. Thanks for posting :)
again and again, simply this site’s most talented writer! that was amazing, in depth, well thought of, and did i say, amazingly written??! please post soon.
sunburn is the pits! i’m waiting for bette to share the idea of opening another gallery with tina. i think tina will back her and be perfectly fine being the breadwinner for a while!:)PPS