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Angels Never Came Down 13
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I have never had to work hard at anything in my life. Everything just seemed to fall into my lap most of the time. I think I should thank my parents for that. At the same time, I think I should blame them too.
Bette, I’m not courageous. I’m not brave. The thing with Eric was that it was easy. It was so damn easy to let myself follow expectations. I let myself fall in love with being in love, with being loved. The thing with you is that it’s too difficult. If, and it’s a big if, I fell in love with you and you felt the same way, it would still be difficult. God, and if you don’t feel the same way, it would be impossible. I can’t deal with impossible Bette. I’ve never had to. I wouldn’t know where to begin.
Bette shut the laptop forcefully. So she threw the damn letter away but the soft copy was still in her hard drive. How goddamn pathetic could she be? And the fucking person who threw her whole life for a loop was back. Changed. She didn’t know how much more cruel irony she could take.
After Alice had left her in the guest bedroom at Dana’s, Bette took some time to sit and think about her predicament. It didn’t seem all that difficult, did it? Tina wasn’t the same Tina she remembered. Was she, could she be, the same Tina that she loved? Closing her eyes and seeing Tina’s new look, Bette had a hard time accepting it. Yet, when she thought back to all the fantasies she’d had through the years, and she had a hard time denying it. A part of her still called out for Tina – soft, gentle, sweet Tina – who has apparently changed into someone Bette wouldn’t have even considered. Yet, when she had recognized those eyes, some visceral part leapt with joy.
She reached for Alice. What was that? She had thought it was love, finally love. But if she were truly in love with Alice, she wouldn’t be going through these excruciating ruminations. Would she? That seemed to be the question of the moment: what would she do?
Bette had been distracted bidding goodbye to Dana. She didn’t even see Shane at the party. But if Alice said she would be sleeping at Shane’s, Bette knew she would be seeing a lot more of Shane in the near future. At least Alice wouldn’t be with Dana.
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I kinda have to agree with rbabe’s first statement and did_inept. Tina seems incredibly selfish and reckless and at the same time unsure of herself. She ran because she wasn’t ready to face her feelings for Bette and I understand that, but I wish she could have been sure of who she is before she decided to come back.
Interesting chapter. I expect to have some darts thrown at me after posting this comment. Personally, I think Bette gave up hoping for Tinas return too soon and threw the letter away. She should never have been with Alice in the first place, Alice just kind of insinuated herself in Bettes life. As she said, “she was someone that was hopeful.” She should have stuck with being the best friend. You don’t get hurt that way. Tina is comfortable because she knows she loves Bette and wants to be with her, she just has to look the part of a girl now until her hair grows back. Wig City here she comes. Dana should have told Alice how she felt about her instead of leaving it for so long then it was too late to say anything. Now she has her chance and she should take it. Bette and Tina are meant to be, they are destined and they both know it and will now try to make something happen. It won’t take much to make it happen. I feel sure Tina was talking about being a full blown lesbian and looking like a girl. I’ll just bet she will be wearing a wig and something girly the next time she sees Bette. I would stake everything I own on that proposition. I could be wrong, I’ve been wrong before but, its rare. My children hate when I offer that little idiom. But in this story it fits. Can hardly wait for the next chapter to see what happens. Thanks for posting. PPS
Ummm…so far Tina hasn’t done anything untoward to anyone on her return to LA. Why can’t SHE have her hopes like apparently everyone else in this story has, with the possible exception of Shane (that we know about so far, loved the “androgynous at best” bit!)? Evidently Alice knew what the score was although hoped otherwise. Bette wasn’t supposed to try to make the best of her life after Tina split? Why?
Despite the communal hangover to come, I think Max had the best outcome of them all.
Oh Dear! Too sad. Great update. Thank you.
This is very interesting and hope they will see each other soon and have a talk. Please post more, thanks!
Bette maybe should have made that call… to Shane’s anyway. Just to see if Alice was okay. But Alice clearly isn’t. Dana isn’t, Bette isn’t. Tina seems to be. Okay or not, though, everyone seems hopeful. Alice shouldn’t totally knock it. It might lead to good things. Really good things… thanks for the chapter, 7. :)
sad emotions all around, everyone is going through something dramatic, except for Shane…i wonder what change is Tina talking about? grow her hair back? become gentle, soft but more confident Tina? so many possibilities in this story
Not liking Tina At all. Bette should just let go of the past and be happy with Alice. Alice shouldn’t give up that easily.
Interesting story. The only content person is, unsurprisingly, Tina. Looks like she doesn’t care about anyone except herself (and Max). Everybody else is a complete mess, and they will be more miserable, for sure. Feel really sorry for Bette, and, for the first time ever, Alice.
Wow, I feel so badly for both Bette and Alice but in the end, this is for the best. They don’t belong together no matter what ends up happening between Bette and Tina.