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”You have got to be fucking kidding me!!”
Tina didn’t even really hear what Angie was saying, it didn’t register initially because every nerve cell in her body and every thought in her head was on Bette. All she knew for sure was that Bette’s lips were no longer on her own but she could still feel the heat of them, the warmth, more than a hint of a welcome tongue… and somehow… somehow… her daughter was in the room looking at them like they had grown three heads. All Tina could hear was her own heartbeat beating too loudly, thump thump thumping in her ears like a drum in a procession band that matched the word her brain kept repeating Bette Bette Bette.
She was acutely aware of how close Bette was standing to her, and how her own blouse was probably untucked (Bette’s fingers on her skin felt like matches fuck) and possibly unbuttoned. How the lingering scent of Bette’s shampoo (special order, from that store in New York) hung in the air, expectant, enticing, so familiar it made her heart ache. She just wanted to breathe it in, marinate in the way Bette lit up all her senses but Angie was suddenly here and Bette now was talking, nervously explaining, asking questions.
They both looked down at their clothing (was her zipper down? Jesus) then started talking at once, Tina unaware of what she was saying, her thoughts obsessing over the way Bette’s body fit so perfectly against her own (had Bette lost weight?), her mouth tingling from that kiss, that kiss that ended much too abruptly. How it felt to breathe Bette in, share the same air, their lips so close that when she inhaled it was at the same moment Bette exhaled.
When did she stop noticing how good it felt to be held by Bette? To be looked at with eyes that she could fall into, drown in? When did the love she always felt down to the depths of her soul equate with needing space?
“We were just going to watch a movie…” she heard Bette say and Tina would have laughed out loud if she could think straight but the reality was that all she could think about was that she wanted the kiss to continue, she wanted more, she wanted Bette, she wanted Bette so badly her words were tumbling out of her mouth carelessly to knock into Bette’s mumbling as Angie abruptly left the house, the door closing just as suddenly as it was opened not mere seconds ago.