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    Ashes, ashes… Chapter 12

    Story written on December 4, 2005 by fanficchick.
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    24 votes, average: 4.88 out of 524 votes, average: 4.88 out of 524 votes, average: 4.88 out of 524 votes, average: 4.88 out of 524 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5 (24 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5)
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    Genre(s):
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    Character(s): N/A
    Number of Comments: 26
    Words: 5010
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=58052
    Author Notes:

    .

     

    Helena arrived back in Los Angeles before 7am.  She considered calling Tina but decided to stop by and see her instead.

     

    “Good morning, Darling,” Helena said when Tina opened the door.

     

    “Good morning,” Tina said, not resisting as Helena drew her close.

     

    “Have you slept?” Helena asked softly, stroking Tina’s hair as she guided the other woman’s head to her shoulder.

     

    “Off and on.”

     

    Helena closed her eyes and inhaled Tina’s scent.  “I missed you.”

     

    Tina nodded, tightening her hold around Helena‘s waist.  “It’s…um.  I…”  She stopped herself, and pulled away, walking into the small living room.

     

    Helena followed Tina inside, reaching for her hand and holding on.  “What is it?”

     

    Tina slowly turned to face Helena.  “I’m a mess, Helena.  You know that, right? My life is…  My life has fallen apart.”

     

    “What are you saying?”  Helena asked, frowning.

     

    “You’ve been so wonderful, staying here.  Taking care of me.  But this weekend, I’ve had some time to think.  And I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.  I mean, we’ve been sleeping in the same bed and–”

     

    “Tina.  Stop,” Helena said, gently taking Tina by the shoulders.  “I don’t have the wrong idea.  Truly.”

     

    Tina’s face visibly cleared, and she exhaled slowly.  “I just…  After all that happened between us in the past, I didn’t…  I don’t want to hurt you.”

     

    Helena shook her head and looked searchingly into Tina’s brown eyes.  “I told you, I want to be your friend.  I don’t have any other expectations.”

     

    They wandered into the kitchen and made coffee together, then sat at the kitchen table, sipping from oversized mugs.  After she shared a few stories of her trip, Helena cleared her throat.

     

    “Do you remember my friend Ronnie Blyton?  You met last year at the Foundation’s dinner?” Helena asked, tracing her long, slender index finger around the rim of her cup.

     

    “I think so.  You two went to school together, right?  She’s… she’s a psychologist, isn’t she?”

     

    “Yes.  A very good one.”

     

    Tina pushed her cup away and swallowed hard, comprehending.  “Talking about it isn’t going to change anything.”

     

    Helena reached for Tina’s hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze.  “It’s not going to change the past, Darling.  But it can help to improve the future.”

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    Comments

    6. I have difficulty accepting that Helena doesn’t have a self serving agenda. More power to you for creating a kinder, gentler (ahem) even likable character. Thank you for leading Tina via Helena to the professional help she needed. The missing piece of the puzzle is Bette. I hope you are as generous with her in providing the friendship and help she truly needs. I would like to see more from her point of view. Thanks for an incredible story that touches so many.

    7. i’m trying hard to accept that B&T aren’t together…but i think their friendws should try and make them talk…this is really hard and heartbreaking, but i see some hope, i just really want B&T get back together

    8. I’ve enjoyed your stories. This story has been emotionally charged. I actually quite like this Helena. Bette needs a friend like that too, to help her move along, to heal. Perhaps Tina can be the one? Thanks for posting. Can’t wait to see how this unfolds.

    9. loved the last two chapters!thanks for the glimpse of bette. the contrast of their grief gives the story a lot of depth. i have to say, i can relate a lot to bette’s way of dealing with it. especially when my grandfather was dying, there were moments when i was so close to positively collapsing emotionally… and then i’d remember i was in the middle of class. there’s an odd type of person who opts to put it off; the crying, the pain, the helplessness. it felt like i never quite had time to deal with it because i could foresee the magnitude of what actually dealing with my sadness would bring. i’ve allowed myself to grieve and i hope bette does too (with tina, of course. haha). love that tina’s finally getting help!

    14. I often don’t comment on others stories or read them because I am working on my own but I clicked on your first chapter and have been hooked ever since. I am a BIG Tina fan (although you can’t tell in my story) and love Bette just as much. It pains me to see them seperate but I have to say that you are exploring a delicate side to Helena that I think is extremely plausable. I could see her being this way with Tina and wanting to help.I was hoping that you would have Bette come to her senses and deal with it getting back together with Tina to heal but now I’m not so sure that Tina shouldn’t lean on Helena (I can’t believe I’m writing this) and move past Bette for good. If she can’t be there when Tina needs her the most…so be it but Helena can.

    15. Great update. And Helena is really good and supportive, I like this Helena, at least so far. But I still think that talking about all this with Bette is the best thing for them, they need to work through this together. Well that’s what I believe. Great chapter, please post soon

    16. Thank you for this story. I think I told you that my first baby died of SIDS at five weeks and though I’ve got two gorgeous kids now, the pain never really goes away. I wish I’d had your Helena in my life to help me through at the time. You are writing this so sensitively.

    17. I must say that I rather enjoy this story. I am glad to read a piece of fanfic that does not demonize Helena, because I do like her in the show and think that there’s more to her than making Bette and Tina’s lives a living hell. Very refreshing and well written. Please continue!

    18. I am trying with all my strength to accept what is being offered to me but I have one question and its a pretty important question. Is the loss of the bay boy we know from the show also relevant in this scenario? I never thought I would say this but Helena is really human in this story, even the fact that she is willingly lying to herself about her feelings for Tina, in order to be her guide through this difficult time is endearing. I can’t fathom what it must be like for Tina I wouldn’t be able to function. Yet I am more intrigued about what it is like for you to write this story. Yet I am fully aware that this is something I might never be privy to. Thanks.

    19. Lovely as always. Thank you for posting…Despite this not having been the story on the L word, I find it very plausible – thus, i’m pained by the fact that I have found myself thinking that indeed Bette may have ‘abandoned’ (for the lack of a better word) Tina had this occurred. We don’t get to see them work through anything… But, you’re letting us see a more meaningful side to Helena, for which i am grateful.

    20. Not many authors on our site could expertly tackle such a life alterning topic with the sensitivity and grace that you possess. Thank you for encouraging our hearts with the peak of light at the end of the tunnel.

    23. Listen your really trying my patiece I like that you make helen human but WFT where is bette !!!!!!! how is she handling this ! she needs tina like yesterday!!!!!!!! She nedds to show up like now!!!!!!!!!!!!

    25. eloquent. thought provoking. emotionally charged. just some words. i have tried to put into perspecitive my thoughts over me sons death and its almost a year now. i still cant except, be angry. grateful for your words and the simplicity of them to open my heart a little more for healing to begin. as much as i detest helena, i would appreciate one to help guide me. this is truly a awesome piece of work. thanks.

    26. This is utterly amazing, that this site, this particular story can evoke so much of what is really out there, albeez, how hard this must be to read being that you are going thru this yourself. I commend you for how far you come and pray for how far you must still travel…Thank you for this story, for touching the lives and making things real for so many people. I would be a mess if I were to lose one of my girls, utterly lost, I don’t look down on Bette, everyone goes thru greiving on their own time and actions. I feel bad that she is out there alone w/out someone caring like Helena in this story…pls send her helppost soon….tks

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