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    Ashes, ashes… Chapter 12

    Story written on December 4, 2005 by fanficchick.
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    24 votes, average: 4.88 out of 524 votes, average: 4.88 out of 524 votes, average: 4.88 out of 524 votes, average: 4.88 out of 524 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5 (24 votes, average: 4.88 out of 5)
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    Character(s): N/A
    Number of Comments: 26
    Words: 5010
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=58052
    Author Notes:

    .

     

    “I don’t care about the future,” Tina said softly.

     

    “Maybe not right now.  In time, though, I think you may again.”

     

    Helena wandered back to the waiting room couch and sat down.  She was still surprised that Tina allowed her to call Ronnie for an appointment.  And she suspected that much of Tina’s willingness was more about appeasing than about trusting in the potential benefits of therapy.  Still, Helena didn’t care.  She firmly believed that once Tina and Ronnie started working together, that Ronnie could help.  Maybe therapy wouldn’t fix everything.  But it would help Tina to sort through her feelings and begin the long process of re-entering the land of the living.

     

    The door to the private office opened, and Helena stood up in anticipation.  Tina walked through the door looking teary and shaken.  But there was a determined set to her shoulders, and Helena took heart as she met Tina halfway across the room.

     

    “How are you?” she asked quietly.

     

    Tina blinked back tears.  “I’m…  I…”

     

    Helena gathered Tina close.  “It’s going to get better.”

     

    “Do you really think so?”

     

    “Absolutely.”

     

    “I’m going to see Ronnie again.”

     

    “Good.  She’s brilliant.  And a fabulous golfer.  But that’s beside the point,” Helena said, kissing Tina’s cheek.

     

    “She wants to see you.  In her office,” Tina said, fishing a tissue out of her purse.

     

    “Being called in to the head mistress, am I?”  Helena asked, taking Tina’s arm and leading her to the couch.  “I’ll be right back, Darling.”

     

    Tina nodded, dabbing at her eyes, and Helena headed into Ronnie’s inner sanctum.  Ronnie was jotting a few notes in a folder, and she stopped what she was doing and leaned back in her chair when Helena sat down in front of her desk

     

    “Thank you for changing the alignment of the planets to fit her in.  I know you’ve got a waiting list,” Helena said.

     

    “I’m glad you called,” Ronnie said, her eyes shining with compassion and intelligence.

     

    “We can’t talk about this anymore, can we?  About Tina.”

     

    Ronnie smiled.  “That’s what I wanted to remind you of.”

     

    “Client confidentiality.”

     

    “Right.  You can say anything to me, of course.  But I can’t discuss Tina with you.  I hope you understand.“

     

    “Ronnie.  I would never ask you to compromise your professional ethics,” Helena insisted.  “At least, not after I ask you one question.”

     

    Veronica Blyton grinned broadly, and Helena was reminded of the sweet fall afternoons from her girlhood when the two of them would sit across from each other at the long, well-worn wooden tables in the library, passing notes and giggling together.  How had life gotten so complicated in just the blink of an eye?

     

    “Ask your question and I’ll see if I can answer it without being a moral affront to my discipline.”

     

    “Will she recover from this?”

     

    Ronnie sat up straighter in her chair, and Helena could see the burden of her friend’s vocation in the somber expression that settled over Ronnie’s features.

     

    “The human spirit is amazingly resilient and forgiving.”

     

    “Yes.  I know.  But I’m not asking about humans in the abstract.  I’m asking about Tina.”

     

    “She’s strong, Hel.  And that’s good, because this is not going to be a simple or swift process.”

     

    “Not simple or swift.  But possible?”  Helena asked hopefully.

     

    “Everything’s possible,” Ronnie said assuringly.  “As long as she doesn’t give up.”

     

    “She won’t give up,” Helena said, standing.  “I’ll see to that.”

     

    “Are you being expelled?” Tina asked when Helena emerged from Ronnie’s office.

     

    “I’ve escaped with a stern warning this time,” Helena said.  “She seemed in a particularly benevolent mood.”

     

    “Well, I guess we should go before she changes her mind,” Tina said.  “We don’t want to risk a call to your mother.”

     

    Helena reached for Tina’s hand, easing her to her feet.  “How about ice cream?”

     

    “What?”

     

    “You’ve had a strenuous afternoon.  Therefore, a reward is in order,” Helena shrugged.

     

    “Ice cream, huh?”

     

    “Perhaps even outrageously decadent sundaes.”

     

    Tina laced her fingers through Helena‘s.  “Thank you,” she said.  “For everything”

     

    “You’re welcome.  For everything.”

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    Comments

    6. I have difficulty accepting that Helena doesn’t have a self serving agenda. More power to you for creating a kinder, gentler (ahem) even likable character. Thank you for leading Tina via Helena to the professional help she needed. The missing piece of the puzzle is Bette. I hope you are as generous with her in providing the friendship and help she truly needs. I would like to see more from her point of view. Thanks for an incredible story that touches so many.

    7. i’m trying hard to accept that B&T aren’t together…but i think their friendws should try and make them talk…this is really hard and heartbreaking, but i see some hope, i just really want B&T get back together

    8. I’ve enjoyed your stories. This story has been emotionally charged. I actually quite like this Helena. Bette needs a friend like that too, to help her move along, to heal. Perhaps Tina can be the one? Thanks for posting. Can’t wait to see how this unfolds.

    9. loved the last two chapters!thanks for the glimpse of bette. the contrast of their grief gives the story a lot of depth. i have to say, i can relate a lot to bette’s way of dealing with it. especially when my grandfather was dying, there were moments when i was so close to positively collapsing emotionally… and then i’d remember i was in the middle of class. there’s an odd type of person who opts to put it off; the crying, the pain, the helplessness. it felt like i never quite had time to deal with it because i could foresee the magnitude of what actually dealing with my sadness would bring. i’ve allowed myself to grieve and i hope bette does too (with tina, of course. haha). love that tina’s finally getting help!

    14. I often don’t comment on others stories or read them because I am working on my own but I clicked on your first chapter and have been hooked ever since. I am a BIG Tina fan (although you can’t tell in my story) and love Bette just as much. It pains me to see them seperate but I have to say that you are exploring a delicate side to Helena that I think is extremely plausable. I could see her being this way with Tina and wanting to help.I was hoping that you would have Bette come to her senses and deal with it getting back together with Tina to heal but now I’m not so sure that Tina shouldn’t lean on Helena (I can’t believe I’m writing this) and move past Bette for good. If she can’t be there when Tina needs her the most…so be it but Helena can.

    15. Great update. And Helena is really good and supportive, I like this Helena, at least so far. But I still think that talking about all this with Bette is the best thing for them, they need to work through this together. Well that’s what I believe. Great chapter, please post soon

    16. Thank you for this story. I think I told you that my first baby died of SIDS at five weeks and though I’ve got two gorgeous kids now, the pain never really goes away. I wish I’d had your Helena in my life to help me through at the time. You are writing this so sensitively.

    17. I must say that I rather enjoy this story. I am glad to read a piece of fanfic that does not demonize Helena, because I do like her in the show and think that there’s more to her than making Bette and Tina’s lives a living hell. Very refreshing and well written. Please continue!

    18. I am trying with all my strength to accept what is being offered to me but I have one question and its a pretty important question. Is the loss of the bay boy we know from the show also relevant in this scenario? I never thought I would say this but Helena is really human in this story, even the fact that she is willingly lying to herself about her feelings for Tina, in order to be her guide through this difficult time is endearing. I can’t fathom what it must be like for Tina I wouldn’t be able to function. Yet I am more intrigued about what it is like for you to write this story. Yet I am fully aware that this is something I might never be privy to. Thanks.

    19. Lovely as always. Thank you for posting…Despite this not having been the story on the L word, I find it very plausible – thus, i’m pained by the fact that I have found myself thinking that indeed Bette may have ‘abandoned’ (for the lack of a better word) Tina had this occurred. We don’t get to see them work through anything… But, you’re letting us see a more meaningful side to Helena, for which i am grateful.

    20. Not many authors on our site could expertly tackle such a life alterning topic with the sensitivity and grace that you possess. Thank you for encouraging our hearts with the peak of light at the end of the tunnel.

    23. Listen your really trying my patiece I like that you make helen human but WFT where is bette !!!!!!! how is she handling this ! she needs tina like yesterday!!!!!!!! She nedds to show up like now!!!!!!!!!!!!

    25. eloquent. thought provoking. emotionally charged. just some words. i have tried to put into perspecitive my thoughts over me sons death and its almost a year now. i still cant except, be angry. grateful for your words and the simplicity of them to open my heart a little more for healing to begin. as much as i detest helena, i would appreciate one to help guide me. this is truly a awesome piece of work. thanks.

    26. This is utterly amazing, that this site, this particular story can evoke so much of what is really out there, albeez, how hard this must be to read being that you are going thru this yourself. I commend you for how far you come and pray for how far you must still travel…Thank you for this story, for touching the lives and making things real for so many people. I would be a mess if I were to lose one of my girls, utterly lost, I don’t look down on Bette, everyone goes thru greiving on their own time and actions. I feel bad that she is out there alone w/out someone caring like Helena in this story…pls send her helppost soon….tks

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