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Ashes, ashes… Chapter 23
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“Okay,” Tina said, as encouragingly as she could.
“I’m…seeing a therapist. For about a month now.”
“Yeah. I’m seeing someone too.”
“Really?” Bette asked, meeting Tina’s glance.
Tina nodded. “It’s been good. Hard. But good.”
“I had no intention of going back to therapy. You… you know that. But. Peggy showed up and did this…intervention,” Bette said.
“Peggy Peabody?”
“Out of nowhere. And she made me promise to make an appointment with a friend of hers.”
“Wait,” Tina said. “Peggy Peabody just showed up?”
“You know how word travels in the art world. I imagine she heard about
Tina nodded, certain that art world gossip had nothing to do with Peggy’s seemingly impromptu re-insertion into Bette’s life.
“Anyway,” Bette said. “I wasn’t able to get an appointment with her friend. But I did start seeing a woman in the same practice. And… I’ve been talking with her. About us. About what happened.”
“Has it helped?” Tina asked. “Talking about it?”
“It probably would have helped more if I’d talked with you,” Bette said, surprising Tina with her candor.
“Is this…an assignment? Us meeting?”
“No. I told Kate that I wanted to talk with you. But she didn’t suggest it.”
“Okay.” Tina set down her glass and rubbed her hands on her jeans. She felt oddly calm. Much calmer than she’d imagined she’d feel. Here she was, sitting fewer than three feet from Bette, the woman who’d been the love of her life, who’d broken her heart, who’d begged to be taken back, only to walk away a second time. And yet all Tina felt was slightly agitated. There was no fury. No anguish. It was almost as if years had passed since they’d seen each other instead of months, and that she had been blessed with a wise objectivity.
“I know that I spent a lot of time in our relationship running away from things. You. Myself. Problems. I…um. I could appear to be the good provider. Focusing on work. Trying to do the best for our family,” Bette said bitterly. “When what I was doing was being cowardly. And avoiding conversations and conflicts we needed to have.”
“Bette,” Tina began. “It’s not that simple.”
“Please,” Bette interrupted. “Just…let me get this out, okay?”
“Sure.”
“Tina. You and I… Something changed for us long before we lost Angelica. Even before Candace. We started slipping apart. Not…not on purpose. Not pulling away from each other. Just…drifting,” Bette said, narrowing her eyes as she searched for the right words. “It wasn’t that I didn’t love you. Because I will always love you. But-”
“I know.”
“What?” Bette asked, confused.
“I’ll always love you, too. But we haven’t been together in a long time. I think we tried to be. Both of us. In our own ways. Maybe we tried to hard. Maybe we should have let each other go a long time ago.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I know that sounds insane, given what I did. But I… I didn’t know what else to do. Except leave. We needed things from each other. And we didn’t have them to give,” Bette said, her voice barely more than a whisper.
Tina brushed away the few tears that slipped down her cheeks, and made room on the couch when Bette got up to sit next to her.
“I’m sorry,” Bette said, pulling Tina close.
“Me too,” Tina said.
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Great story. Looking forward to the next chapter!
God what I would not give to have the writing on the show resemble just an ounce of what you have in this story. My God two people actually talking whether its Tina with Bette or Helena the fact that they converse with each other is the best freaking drama I could ever imagine. Thanks ffc I can’t sing your praises enough. Freak the show give me depth any old day of the week.
This is good, keep them talking, please?Great chapter, please post soon
Great chapter. I hope you post again soon.
Greta chapter please give us something happy as life seems to be oh but depressing
it is a start
Awww. It’s a start, but they seem too distant…too willing and able to walk away. While that might be the story direction, it’s not the way I’d vote (if my vote counted).
No, I think it’s the end. What Tina said about staying together longer than they should have…just like on the show. Crap.
Great writing. Like real grownups. I especially loved this line:”Provide a Rosetta stone for emotional hieroglyphics. ” Wonderful imagery.
This is good. A small part of me is wanting them to get back together, they say third time is the charm!!! If only the writing among Bette and Tina on the show ere this good. Looking forward to the next post!!!
sounds to me that they are ready to give up…please make them talk more and keep them together
Ohhhhh, they’re talking! Hoo-frickin-ray! This was a wonderful chapter. Excellent dialogue throughout.
What a tough conversation for them to have. I ditto Slacker 100%. I sure hope love can prevail.
Maybe it’s last nights show, maybe I just read Skipton’s Reprisal Reprised, then this, I’m so depressed. Is anyone going to get these ladies together? Although truthfully, I want Tina to end up happily ever after with Helena. As always, thanks!
Great chapter…FFC! Pls carry on
This is a good story. Can’t wait for the next post.
Yep, I concur with the concensus. Nothing worth having is easy. Harder to stand and fight, easier to shrug and walk away.
It is always nice to see a post from you, the conversation is a start for Bette and Tina, looking forward to the next chapter. Thank you.
Has every Tibette author excluding myself and maybe some others totally given up on our favorite couple?Well I haven’t not in ff at least.Great chapter though. Keep them talking.
Damn this is sad and hope they will talk all the problem and work thing out!
Great to have you posting again ffc. Great chapter as always.
FFC,That was awesome.All of the heart of this story was portrayed in this chapter.The honesty with which Helena admitted her true feelings for Tina was beautifully matched my Tina’s open response that now was now the time to deal with such matters but let Helena know that she too cared. This cleared the air and allowed these characters to return to their friendship and support system.This change to a warm and fuzzy Helena is marvelously brought to life.As for Bette and Tina’s conversation; it bought me to tears. All of the uncertainties, fears and risks were evident for all to feel. With this start at communication the loss of their child will be faced and worked thorough.I do hope that this may be the start of a new beginning for Bette and Tina’s union however I trust in your talents to make it enjoyable whatever your plans.Much gratitude for this terrific tale so please post more real soon.Your Loyal Fan
I’m the soul of concision in 2006: Thank you.
That was hard to read,to know that this might be the last time that they will talk.Is this the end for them or a new beginning. Will Tina go to Helena,or try again with Bette thanks
Sterling chapter! You’ve expressed everyone’s emotions so well. Helena’s dialogue is particularly true to her character. Tina’s come a long way and so has Bette to get to that hug. Loved it, thanks so much.
sounds like they are willing to let go…
fantastic. you’ve got us all wrapped around your finger.
hmm. i was thinking about more on it and i think bette and tina are devastated individually and collectively. i’m not sure if anyone could recover from that; b and t may very well be beyond repair.