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Ashes, ashes… Chapter 9
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“So what happened?”
“It was…almost as if we were strangers. Very civil, polite, distant…strangers,” Tina explained, thinking back to the weeks when she and Bette moved in and around the house, passing each other like ghosts, hardly able to bear being in the same room together because the concentration of their combined pain was too overwhelming.
“How long did that last? Living like strangers?”
“Weeks. A month,” Tina shrugged. “I wasn’t sleeping at all by that point, so time because sort of moot. And Bette… Bette would go to work and not come home for a few days at a time. She’d stay with Kit. Or at a hotel. Or her office. One morning she came to the house to pick up a change of clothes and shower, and….”
“And what?”
“And I just…exploded. I told her I couldn’t stand it anymore. That I needed her to work through this with me. That we needed to get each other through. And if we couldn’t do that-if she wasn’t willing to be in that process-then it was over. And she said that she… she couldn’t.”
“Tina. I don’t know what to say.”
Tina swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat. “I…um,” she struggled to speak, to quell the tidal wave of emotions that was rising in her chest, cutting off her air, and strangling her voice.
“It’s all right,”
Slowly, Tina felt her heart rate returning to normal, and the strangling band of pressure around her throat began to dissipate.
“I’m sorry,” she managed, barely audibly.
“For what, Darling? Having feelings? Don’t apologize. There’s absolutely no reason for it,”
“I didn’t… I haven’t really talked about Bette. Not to Shane or Alice. It just… It seemed disloyal, somehow. Besides, it’s not as if it matters any more.”
“It’s final, then? The separation?”
“She’s moving to
“Do you want to know?”
Tina looked at
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wow this story is really good..im loving it!. I just wonder how Bette is doing. Post soon :)
thank you for this beautiful piece.
funking sad..i never thought i would say something like this, but if Bette dosent want to support and be with Tina the way she need someone then i hope Helena will be that person for her..please put some sense in Bette´s mind she is been selfish..im sad :o(
This is some powerful story. I like that Helena is helping Tina but I hope she has it in her to know what Tina really needs is Bette. Can someone please help Bette. Shane went for Tina how about someone find out how Bette is. Post soon great story sad but great
This is such a great story. You communicate the characters’ emotions so well. I love it!
what the — bette fought for tina and wonand changed and the 1st real trama and she can’t be there for tina this should of drawn them together–and now helena is back ?????????????
This is so sad and touching. Damn Bette and her walls!
Wow – this story is hard to read with a 6 month old! Helena is being a good friend, very different on this board and I like it but I really want Bette to come through on this one and be the one to save Tina.
simply beautiful. your ability to have so much conveyed with so few words is amazing.
I just have to say again, thank you for this amazing story.
Wow, maybe Helena is going to contact Bette. I’m thinking Bette would go back to Tina just so Tina wouldn’t end up with Helena, although, with the way that Bette is acting, I’m hoping that Tina stays with Helena.
So beautifully written- every word in every chapter flows!! “Never seek the wind in the field. It is useless to try and find what is gone.”~Polish proverb~
Okay, I am really trying to give Bette the benefit of the doubt, afterall we have not been giving much insight as to what she is going through. I am glad that Helena is there for Tina. I hope Kit can knock some sense into Bette, when will bette realize that you can’t always run when things get to diffcult. Please post soon
excellent. lost in your words, yet again.
A glimpse into the collapse of the relationship…waiting patiently for the other perspective/rationale. Grief can be overwhelming. Thank you for the powerful storyline.
This is heart-wrenching, but beautifully done.
How is bette handling this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please can I be the one to kick Bette’s ass, (then kiss it better of course) then send her over to Tina too help her through this. Great chapter
This is so achingly sad. Thank goodness for Helena.
FFC: I’ve been unable to comment until now. Maybe it’s due to the depth of your words, the realistic portrayal of the situation or perhaps my own inability to deal. Or maybe it’s a combination of the three, I’m not sure. Anyway, your writing is remarkable as always. As heart wrenching as this story is, it’s just as enchanting. The fragile depiction of Tina, the genuine concern and vulnerability of Helena and the seemingly nonchalant state of Bette all give such power to the characters you’ve created. Tough story, fabulous writing.
Tina’s grief is so palpaple and moving. We are seeing the best of Helena, I hope it lasts. Your writing teaches and inspires me. Thank you.
great story. Lucia is completely right. yet I liked this kind Helena, I hope Bette come to her senses again
Still wondering where the hell is Bette!
the way you’ve created completely different ways of grieving for tina and bette is awesome, it’s a really skilled contrast. i trust you’ll do what’s right for the story, but what about bette? her absence has a lot of impact and the reader really gets a sense of how far she’s pulled away, but one can’t help but be curious… especially if bette happens to be a faithful reader’s favourite character. anyway, fabulous chapter and post soon!p.w.
This story is so sad. I think Bette is going to breakdown if she lets herself grieve.
chick where is bette?
what a beautiful piece of writing, but oh so sad! I love this other side of Helena. We saw shadows of it last season, but im hoping it will be developed further in s3.
Thank you for writing for us FFC. I am dying a slow death with this storyline, but it is written with such clarity and exposes so many raw emotions, one can’t help but be drawn in.
I’m very pleased with Helena’s actions towards Tina but will someone please let Bette surface and take care of herself and her wife. That is her JOB not Helena’s. Thanks for the post.
powerful. argh..so sad to see Tina cryin herself to sleep every nite.
I said that I really like this Helena. Not this much, though. Stay on your side of the bed, Helena and nobody gets hurt. Really, it’s a touching and realistic story. I’m glad Helena is there for Tina. She needs it right now. Thanks.
well, at least we know what’s happening between B&T a little..but how’s bette doing? are we going to get her POV? are you getting them back together? even if it’s through helena, whom i really like in this story, but i really want B&T back together and wotk through grief together
Ouch. Tina’s pain is so tangible. :( Thanks for shedding some light on what happened, ffc. Now I’m definitely glad that Helena’s there to take care of Tina. She’s definitely the right individual to talk to since it’s not so personal with her. Yoda strikes again. Thank you for another touching chapter.