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    Ashes, ashes… Chapter 9

    Story written on November 27, 2005 by fanficchick.
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    24 votes, average: 5.00 out of 524 votes, average: 5.00 out of 524 votes, average: 5.00 out of 524 votes, average: 5.00 out of 524 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (24 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Genre(s):
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    Character(s): N/A
    Number of Comments: 33
    Words: 3855
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=57912
    Author Notes:

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    “Just…wondering, I suppose.  Where you stand.  What you want.”

     

    Tina rubbed her eyes and leaned back in her chair, considering.  “What I wanted was a partner I could count on.  No matter what.  And I thought I had that.  But I didn’t.”

     

    They sat without speaking for several minutes.  Then, Helena ran her thumb lightly over the back of Tina’s hand, not letting go.  “You look tired.”

     

    Tina felt the wan smile tug at her mouth.  “You sure know how to sweet talk a girl, don’t you?”

     

    “I’ve always thought that honesty was the best policy,” Helena said with a smile of her own.  “Although you’re lovely enough that even fatigue becomes you.”

     

    Exhaustion and sadness were almost indistinguishable to Tina at this point.  They had been her twin companions for the past months, filling her days and nights with their presence, haunting her every moment.

     

    “Do you think you could get some sleep?”

     

    “I don’t know.  Maybe.  Helena?”

     

    “Yes?”

     

    “Are you…  Were you planning to….”

     

    “Would it be all right with you if I stayed the night?” Helena interrupted, saving Tina from asking.  “I thought I might try actually lying down on the sofa this evening instead of sitting.”

     

    They got ready for bed in silence, moving easily around each other in the bathroom, falling back into the routines they’d known when they spent almost every night together.  In those days, Helena had slipped into bed wearing one sheer, slinky temptation or another, but tonight, she was dressed in a tailored silk pants and shirt set.

     

    “Where might I find an extra blanket?” Helena asked, standing in the doorway of Tina’s bedroom.

     

    “Don’t go,” Tina whispered. 

     

    Helena started to say something, but stopped suddenly, and merely nodded.

     

    Tina turned out her bedside light and settled in under the sheet, pulling the comforter up around her shoulders.  After a moment, Helena get into bed next to her.  Tina felt simultaneously comforted and stricken by Helena‘s nearness.  On the one hand, it was reassuring to have someone beside her, someone to help shine a light into the soul-deep darkness that surrounded her.  But the reassurance was made bittersweet by the knowledge that the only person who could truly know and understand what she was feeling was Bette.  And that Bette was now lost to her forever.

     

    A bubble of grief swelled in Tina’s chest, and she pressed her face into the pillow to stifle her sob. 

     

    “It’s all right, Darling,” Helena soothed, wrapping her arm around Tina’s waist and holding her close.  “I’ve got you.”

     

    And there, in the safety of Helena‘s embrace, Tina allowed herself to cry until her tears were spent, and she fell into dreamless slumber.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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    Comments

    3. funking sad..i never thought i would say something like this, but if Bette dosent want to support and be with Tina the way she need someone then i hope Helena will be that person for her..please put some sense in Bette´s mind she is been selfish..im sad :o(

    4. This is some powerful story. I like that Helena is helping Tina but I hope she has it in her to know what Tina really needs is Bette. Can someone please help Bette. Shane went for Tina how about someone find out how Bette is. Post soon great story sad but great

    6. what the — bette fought for tina and wonand changed and the 1st real trama and she can’t be there for tina this should of drawn them together–and now helena is back ?????????????

    8. Wow – this story is hard to read with a 6 month old! Helena is being a good friend, very different on this board and I like it but I really want Bette to come through on this one and be the one to save Tina.

    11. Wow, maybe Helena is going to contact Bette. I’m thinking Bette would go back to Tina just so Tina wouldn’t end up with Helena, although, with the way that Bette is acting, I’m hoping that Tina stays with Helena.

    12. So beautifully written- every word in every chapter flows!! “Never seek the wind in the field. It is useless to try and find what is gone.”~Polish proverb~

    13. Okay, I am really trying to give Bette the benefit of the doubt, afterall we have not been giving much insight as to what she is going through. I am glad that Helena is there for Tina. I hope Kit can knock some sense into Bette, when will bette realize that you can’t always run when things get to diffcult. Please post soon

    15. A glimpse into the collapse of the relationship…waiting patiently for the other perspective/rationale. Grief can be overwhelming. Thank you for the powerful storyline.

    20. FFC: I’ve been unable to comment until now. Maybe it’s due to the depth of your words, the realistic portrayal of the situation or perhaps my own inability to deal. Or maybe it’s a combination of the three, I’m not sure. Anyway, your writing is remarkable as always. As heart wrenching as this story is, it’s just as enchanting. The fragile depiction of Tina, the genuine concern and vulnerability of Helena and the seemingly nonchalant state of Bette all give such power to the characters you’ve created. Tough story, fabulous writing.

    24. the way you’ve created completely different ways of grieving for tina and bette is awesome, it’s a really skilled contrast. i trust you’ll do what’s right for the story, but what about bette? her absence has a lot of impact and the reader really gets a sense of how far she’s pulled away, but one can’t help but be curious… especially if bette happens to be a faithful reader’s favourite character. anyway, fabulous chapter and post soon!p.w.

    27. what a beautiful piece of writing, but oh so sad! I love this other side of Helena. We saw shadows of it last season, but im hoping it will be developed further in s3.

    28. Thank you for writing for us FFC. I am dying a slow death with this storyline, but it is written with such clarity and exposes so many raw emotions, one can’t help but be drawn in.

    29. I’m very pleased with Helena’s actions towards Tina but will someone please let Bette surface and take care of herself and her wife. That is her JOB not Helena’s. Thanks for the post.

    31. I said that I really like this Helena. Not this much, though. Stay on your side of the bed, Helena and nobody gets hurt. Really, it’s a touching and realistic story. I’m glad Helena is there for Tina. She needs it right now. Thanks.

    32. well, at least we know what’s happening between B&T a little..but how’s bette doing? are we going to get her POV? are you getting them back together? even if it’s through helena, whom i really like in this story, but i really want B&T back together and wotk through grief together

    33. Ouch. Tina’s pain is so tangible. :( Thanks for shedding some light on what happened, ffc. Now I’m definitely glad that Helena’s there to take care of Tina. She’s definitely the right individual to talk to since it’s not so personal with her. Yoda strikes again. Thank you for another touching chapter.

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